


i do (or maybe i don't)

by montecarlos



Category: Formula E RPF, Motorsport RPF
Genre: Accidental Marriage, Angst, Crushes, Fluff, Idiots in Love, Las Vegas Wedding, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-08
Updated: 2018-08-27
Packaged: 2018-09-30 18:57:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 26,388
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10169591
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/montecarlos/pseuds/montecarlos
Summary: Robin doesn’t miss the matching gold ring that is on Ant’s finger - it wasn’t there before - and fights back the urge to be sick on Ant’s feet.“Robin-” Ant says softly, his hand reaching out to steady Robin. “Are you okay?”“I-” Robin says, hating how awkward everything is - usually they have a good relationship between them, they get on like a house on fire and everything seems ruined. “Did we get married last night?”(or the time robin and ant got married in vegas because they were drunk)





	1. part one

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first fic I've written for the Formula E fandom. Thanks to Kim for help with the Dutch. I hope you enjoy :)

Robin slowly blinks the sleep from his eyes, trying to ignore the nausea building in his stomach. He barely remembers anything of what the fuck happened last night - tries to think about what happened as the headache washes over him and his stomach does somersaults. He has a brief recollection of Abt ordering shots of something bright green that burned his tongue when they went down - when he realises that someone’s arms are around his waist, their breath soft and warm against the back of his neck. He tries not to panic - he’s fallen asleep in Simona’s hotel room before, when she’d plied him with alcohol to celebrate his first ever podium in Formula E - but that was strictly platonic, after all, Simona wasn’t Robin’s type _at all._    
  
He knows that Simona isn’t the one curled around him now - she’s not even in Vegas currently, somewhere in Australia in her new series. But the other person seems to be about his height, their legs are tangled together, and it’s at this moment that Robin realises that he’s wearing nothing but his boxer shorts and the other person seems to be naked. He tries to swallow the panic building deep inside himself as the person’s arms tighten around him, pulling him closer to their hairy chest. Maybe it’s someone he invited back to his room? Maybe someone he met last night in the club? Maybe it’s Abt - he bites down on his lip as he thinks about it, wonders if he’ll be talked about in the paddock like Sam is. He doesn’t want a reputation - not like Sam or Abt, or even the new kid Evans who apparently has already got on his knees and sucked Adam off according to the rumours - Robin’s stomach lurches at the thought as he slowly twists around in the person’s hold only to meet a familiar sleeping face a few inches from his own.  
  
It’s Ant.  
  
Fuck, it’s _Ant_ \- he thinks as he studies his teammates sleeping face and worries about how much of a cliche he is already. He’s gone and fucked his teammate, _his racing rival for gods sake._ This is going to make things awkward - so very awkward, he thinks - wondering if he can slip out of Ant’s tight hold and make for the door. However, as Robin is considering his options, Ant’s nose upturns ever so slightly and he lets out a little sigh, hands tightening around Robin’s waist as he blinks his dark brown eyes open. He stares at Robin for a second before his lips curve into a sleepy smile.  
  
“Morning,” Ant murmurs thickly, the smile still on his lips.  
  
Robin doesn’t say anything, he doesn’t speak, frozen in shock as Ant’s hands stroke over the soft skin of his back. “Are you okay, husband?”  
  
Husband. _Husband._ Robin stiffens in Ant’s hold, the little colour in his cheeks washing away as he stares at Ant. “H-husband?”  
  
Ant cocks his head slightly, confusion evident on his face as one of his hands moves out of the sheets to gently cup Robin’s face. Robin feels the blush spread over his cheeks again at Ant’s touch - this is not good, he thinks, his heart slamming against his chest as he gazes into Ant’s dark brown eyes. “What’s wrong?”  
  
Robin feels the nausea rise up in his stomach, threatening to bubble over as he spits out that he doesn’t remember before he shoves Ant’s warm hands away and staggers to the bathroom. He barely has time to lock the door before he falls to his knees in front of the toilet. He barely feels the twinge of pain as he leans over, his stomach contents inevitably meeting the porcelain. He wrenches everything up, trying not to think about how tender Ant was, how warm his hands felt brushing against his back. But this is _wrong_ , he tells himself - he can’t fuck Ant, he can’t have anything to do with Ant. It would jeopardise his position in the team. He groans as his stomach cramps heavily, a low-pitched sigh tugging from his lips as he wrenches, his fingertips clinging to the cool porcelain.  
  
_Husband._ Ant’s words rise up in front of him as the nausea slowly dissipates, leaving his stomach feeling painfully hollow. His eyes catch a glimpse of his left hand, only to find something that wasn’t there before. Robin lifts his hand away from the toilet bowl, his eyes fixed on the thick white-gold ring that is now sitting in his finger. It seems to glint in the light in an innocuous fashion, sitting on Robin’s thin finger as though it’s supposed to be there. Robin runs a shaking finger over the ring - the metal feels cool against his fingertips.  
  
_Husband. Ring. Ant._ **_Husband._ ** _  
_ _  
_ Robin feels the nausea rise up once more and wrenches into the toilet, his fingertips grasping at the porcelain as he rides through the pain of the stomach cramps. He married Ant. He’s married his teammate and he seems to have a ring and everything, like it’s a _proper_ marriage. His mother is going to kill him when she finds out. He wonders who has pranked him. His money is on either Lucas or Abt - they seem like the types to do something like that, but he never expected Ant to go along with it - his finger strokes over the band. It’s not something he would pick personally, but judging by the finish, he guesses that Abt is to blame for the gaudy ring choice. _  
_  
“Robin? You okay?” Ant’s voice snaps him out of his thoughts, the concern in his tone filtering through the door, trying to jiggle the door handle. “Robin?”  
  
Robin tries to push away the panic still twisting in his chest. “I’m fine, just - leave me alone, go back to your own room,”  
  
“Robin, I can’t -” Ant says quietly. “Just please come out and we can talk about this-”  
  
“Just leave me alone,” Robin says, feeling the tears prick up in the corners of his eyes, his stomach still aches from the exertion of throwing up. His eyes once more find the shiny surface of the ring encircling his finger. “Just-”  
  
“Robin, please,” Ant whispers, his voice still soft. “Please talk to me,”  
  
Robin sighs heavily, wiping his mouth dry as he slowly lifts his hand to flush the toilet. Forcing away the ache still running through his stomach, he pulls himself to his feet and slowly approaches the door. He turns the lock which clicks loudly, thrumming through his already pulsing head. Ant appears before him, a look of concern brushing over his handsome features. Robin doesn’t miss the matching gold ring that is on Ant’s finger - it wasn’t there before - and fights back the urge to be sick on Ant’s feet.  
  
“Robin-” Ant says softly, his hand reaching out to steady Robin. “Are you okay?”  
  
“I-” Robin says, hating how awkward everything is - usually they have a good relationship between them, they get on like a house on fire and everything seems ruined. “Did we get married last night?”  
  
Ant says nothing for a moment, his fingers brushing over Robin’s hip. “I, Robin-”  
  
“Just tell me,” Robin says, hating his own tone of voice. “We were in bed together wearing hardly any clothes and I’m wearing a wedding ring,”  
  
“You don’t remember last night at all?” Ant asks, his teeth worrying his lip.  
  
“I remember drinking shots with Abt, then I woke up with you cuddling me,”  
  
“Robin, we-”  
  
“We got married, didn’t we?” Robin cuts in, watching Ant slowly nod his head in affirmation. Robin finds himself tugging at his hair, biting down on his lip. “Fuck, fuck, _fuck_ -”  
  
“Sorry,” Ant says, guilt threading through his tone. “You just suggested it last night and well-”  
  
“And you thought it was a good idea?” Robin says, rubbing his hand over his face trying to swallow the panic. He feels something cold against his skin and realises it’s the ring - the fucking wedding ring that Ant put on him at some point last night - and tries not to cry. This is such a mess. Roger is going to kill them both for this - they and Andretti will be a laughing stock if the paddock finds out that their drivers _married each other_ . Not even Abt and di Grassi would be so stupid. “You honestly thought I was in the right frame of mind to make that kind of decision, Ant?”  
  
“I’m sorry,” Ant murmurs, looking guilty - it makes Robin want to hug him, before he realises that Ant’s the reason they’re in this mess. “I don’t know what the fuck I was thinking-”  
  
“This can’t be real, it just can’t be real-” Robin says, shaking his head as he pushes past Ant back into the hotel room - it’s not how he remembers it - “This isn’t my hotel room,” He says quietly, glancing around the room. It’s bigger than his own room - the bed is enormous for one thing, the remnants of rose petals are scattered all over the rumpled white sheets.  
  
“Are we in the honeymoon suite?” Robin says, wondering how the fuck they’re going to explain this to Roger. He glances over to the window, looking at the bathtub sitting in front of it, rose petals clinging to the white porcelain, trying not to be sick. He still doesn’t remember a thing - it doesn’t seem real to him right now, he’s still clinging to the hope that someone is fucking with him. Robin glances down at the ring, still sitting on his finger before his eyes move to lock on Ant once more.  
  
“You’re angry,” Ant points out the obvious.  
  
“Just stop dicking around now, like you and Abt have had your fun and games pretending now - must admit though the rings and the honeymoon suite made it all the more believable-” Robin says, hating the anger in his voice.  
  
“Robin-”  
  
“I thought we were friends, Ant. I thought that we were cool-”  
  
“This is not a joke, Robin!” Ant snaps and Robin feels his chest grow cold at his teammate’s tone. He’s never heard Ant speak in that way before - he’s usually the teddy bear of the group, the one who never raises his voice and always has a goofy smile on his face in the garage. Ant stalks over to the bedside table and wrenches a slightly crumpled and wet piece of paper from underneath two champagne bottles. He waves the paper around under Robin’s nose, two red spots high on his cheekbones.  
  
“Look,” He says, thrusting the paper at Robin. “Look at this if you don’t believe me-”  
  
Robin takes the paper from Ant’s hand and smoothes out the creases, scanning over the words.  
_  
_ _This is to certify that the undersigned Reverend Chet W. Cassano did on the 7th day of January at the Little White Chapel, Las Vegas, join in lawful wedlock Antonio Felix da Costa of Lisbon, Portugal and Robin Frijns of Maastrict, Netherlands with their mutual consent in the presence of Daniel Abt and Mitchell Evans._ _  
_ _  
_ Robin feels like he’s going to throw up, but not before he murders Daniel and Mitch.  
  
“Robin?” Ant asks, the anger suddenly gone from his voice once more as he watches Robin’s knuckles turn white, gripping the paper harder as his hands shake. “Robin, I’m sorry-”  
  
“We’re actually married-” Robin says, feeling the pain in his head intensify at the thought. They’re married, they’ve gone and done the most cliche thing you could possibly do in Vegas. Robin is about to speak when he’s interrupted by his phone chirping at him. Daniel Abt’s name lights up the display.  
  
Four new messages.  
  
The first is just a row of aubergines.  
  
_Good morning lovebirds! How is married life?_ There’s a winking emoji at the end of the text which Robin feels the urge to roll his eyes at.  
_  
_ _Mrs da Costa? Don’t tell me that Ant has wore you out?_ _  
_  
The last message, however, makes Robin’s chest freeze. _Nice snapchatting of the wedding by the way. Not as good as the honeymoon afterparty though._ _  
_ _  
_ Robin swears under his breath, flicking away Daniel’s messages to open up his snapchat. He notes that his last one was a little over five hours ago. He taps on his own name and allows the videos to load.  
  
His own face pops into view, his cheeks are pink from the alcohol and his hair is mussed, there’s a shot of something in his hand which he promptly downs. “It’s the end of the eRace and my friend Danny mentioned we were in Vegas-”  
  
The next video begins. “I hate this stupid thing. Anyways, Danny said we are in Vegas and what do people do when they’re in Vegas? They get married of course! So I’m going to marry my favourite person Ant!” Ant pops into view for a second before the next video begins. He looks as wasted as Robin does, shining eyes and a shot clasped in his hands. His arm curls around Robin’s shoulders, pressing a sloppy kiss to the Dutchman’s cheek.  
  
“Robin! My Robin!” Ant slurs out and Robin cracks a smile at the camera. “This is going to be my new husband everyone!” He declares, petting Ant on the cheek.  
  
The next two stories are just snaps of the strip of Las Vegas lit up in the evening, the bright signs declaring strippers and weddings accompanied by two smirking faces. The story after that is of Robin in what looks like Lucas’s car kissing Ant on his cheek whilst Daniel looks on with a wide smile on his face. A snapshot of a sign saying ‘The Little White Chapel’ follows the photo, before his phone seems to have been taken by Daniel - clear from the shaking video and the sound of his German accent curling through the air.  
  
“Here is the beautiful bride,” Daniel’s voice calls out, the camera panning onto Robin waving for a moment, clutching what appears to be a bouquet of red roses - roses, he’s going to get murdered when Roger finds out. Hell, when his mother finds out.  
  
“You ready to get married, Robin?” Daniel asks from behind the camera. Robin giggles, leaning onto an equally drunk Mitch.  
  
“Of course I am, I can’t wait to be Mrs Antonio da Costa Felix,” Robin slurs out with a grin, Mitch’s arm steadying him ever so slightly.  
  
The next story is just a snap of a black box containing two familiar looking white-gold wedding rings - one of which is on Robin’s finger and the other on Ant’s. It immediately flicks onto the next shot - of Robin standing next to an equally intoxicated Ant in front of a minister, looking very pleased with themselves.  
  
“Do you take this man to be your lawful wedded partner?” The minister asks Ant.  
  
“I do,” Ant says and cheers from Mitch and Daniel can be heard in the background.  
  
“And do you Robin, take this man to be your lawful wedded partner?”  
  
“I do!” Robin declares, waving around his slightly battered bouquet as the drunken cheers rise up again. He grabs hold of Ant, his arms folded around his shoulders as he leans in, their lips brushing against each other as Mitch stands in the background throwing what appears to be golden confetti over the pair of them. “We’re married!” Robin announces to the camera.  
  
The next few snaps are of them all posing with the minister, Daniel and Mitch appearing in the photos - seemingly uploaded by Daniel if the excessive use of emojis are anything to go by - a mixture of groom, bride, top hats and love hearts before Robin seems to have got his phone back at some point.  
  
_Carry me to our new home and he drops me_ is the caption with what appears to be Robin’s legs resting on the carpet before it switches to himself and Ant curled up in bed together, shirtless, their eyes still gleaming from the alcohol. “We just...cons-consummatated our marriage,” Robin slurs out, giggling under his breath.  
  
“Constimated?” Ant asks with a smile playing on his lips as he leans in and presses a kiss against Robin’s cheek.  
  
After that, there’s a photo of them curled up under the sheets together with a heart emoji sticker over the top. The snapchat stops. Robin feels like he’s going to be sick. It’s all over Snapchat - like every person who follows him is going to know what happened last night. He notices he has a lot of messages and missed calls - including several from his mother and a handful from Daniel, Mitch and Simona.  
  
“Robin?” Ant finally breaks the silence. “Robin, I’m sorry, we can fix this-”  
  
“We have to annul this or get a divorce, just anything - we cannot stay married-” Robin knows he’s panicking, doesn’t register the look of sadness that spreads across Ant’s face. “We’re teammates, we cannot stay married,”  
  
“I guess you’re right,” Ant says slowly. Robin doesn’t miss his finger swiping over his own wedding ring, over the white-gold that he apparently slipped onto the Portuguese man’s finger last night.  
  
“Ant, we cannot stay married - you’re straight for one thing-”  
  
Ant doesn’t speak, his eyes meeting his trainers.  
  
“Ant-”  
  
“Don’t,” Ant says, biting down on his lip. “Look, we’ll sort everything out, we’ll get an annulment and pretend like this never happened,” He sounds upset at the prospect, Robin notes, his fingers still tracing over the wedding ring. “Roger will make it all go away,”  
  
“Ant, please,” Robin worries his lip, hating his teammates tone. “This was a mistake, we have to correct this,”  
  
“I suppose,” Ant replies but he doesn’t seem happy about it.  


* * *

  
Robin leaves the honeymoon suite after that - finds his clothes from the night before. It’s not a walk of shame, he says to himself - although he has done them several times before - as he scuttles back to his own hotel, trying not to think about how sad Ant had looked. His phone buzzes just as he manages to get through the door and throw himself on the bed. Groaning, he buries his head into the pillows as he grabs the phone from his pocket and clicks answer without checking the display.   
  
“Robin,” His mother’s accent curls through the receiver and he fights the urge to groan.  
  
“Moeder,” He replies, trying to keep his voice

“Don’t try pretend you don’t know what this is about, Robin Frijns. What is this about you getting married?”  
  
Robin bangs his head into his pillow a few times. “Moeder, it’s all a big misunderstanding,”  
  
“Lieverd, I just never expected you to get married so soon...and to your teammate of all people? We didn’t even know you were dating,”  
  
“Moeder, we’re not-”  
  
“And your father and I aren’t upset at you marrying him, we accepted a long time ago that it’s who you are and we want you to be happy. We just expected to be invited to your wedding-”  
  
“We didn’t mean to get married-”  
  
“What?”  His mother’s tone immediately sharpens.  
  
“It was all a mistake, we were both drunk and it just happened? We’re going to get a divorce,”  
  
“Robin Frijns, you kneus! What do you mean you’re getting a divorce?” His mother sounds upset. Robin’s head starts to pound again - he’s getting sick of everyone making him out to be the bad guy - Ant agreed to marry him, why should he get all of the blame? “And to find out about it from your instagram-”  
  
“My instagram?” Robin asks, panic rising through his chest.  
  
“Yours and your friend Daniel’s? I just expected that you’d tell us about something like that, something you knew was important to us,”  
  
Robin makes a note to check his instagram and Daniel’s after he’s finished speaking on the phone to his mother as he rubs his hand over his face. “Look, it doesn’t matter, we are going to pretend like this marriage never happened,”  
  
His mother doesn’t say anything else but Robin can sense her disappointment. He bids his goodbyes shortly after that, after the numerous times he convinces her that he’s eating enough and that he’s fine, promising that he will come home soon. He hangs up and leans back down in the pillow, his hand pushing over his face. He feels something cool catch against the stubble of his skin and pulls his hand away. The wedding ring is still on his finger. He wrenches it off, clutching the sphere of white-gold in his hand for a few moments. It feels strange without it on - he shakes his head, throwing the ring onto the bedside table - it wasn’t real between them, it was nothing but a mistake.  
  
He sighs heavily, burrowing his face into the pillow, hoping that everything will go away.  


* * *

  
Ant watches Robin throw his clothes back on haphazardly and leave as quickly as he can, the door slowly closing behind him. He sighs as he glances around the room, his fingers still clasped around the damp wedding certificate, eyes landing on the rumpled sheets of the bed. It had felt good - having Robin in his arms had felt right, like he was supposed to be there. He glances down at his finger, at the ring still sitting there - a lasting reminder of the night before.  
  
The certificate is still rumpled and wet from the champagne - but his and Robin’s signatures are clear on the bottom of the page. Ant sighs heavily, tucking it away as he begins to clear up the mess left by himself and Robin, placing the empty champagne bottles near the bin to be collected. It’s only then he notices the condom lying innocuously on the floor - he remembers more than Robin does, but he’s unsure of what happened after they ended up back at the honeymoon suite. He remembers Lucas driving them back to his hotel and Daniel going in and ordering the honeymoon suite on his American Express with a wide grin - “Think of it as a wedding present boys,” - and Robin trying to leap into his arms, pleading with him to carry him over the threshold. They ended up in a tangle of limbs, Robin giggling against his collarbone before the rest of his memories seem to blur - himself and Robin curled up in the bed together, their lips connecting between pulls of the champagne. He barely remembers anything past that - only a few stray memories of him taking off his shirt, of how sweet Robin’s lips tasted -  
  
He’s snapped out of his thoughts by his phone buzzing with a text.  
  
Jérôme.  
  
He opens it up.  
  
_Ola amigo! Heard you had quite the night. I’m sticking around if you fancy a drink?_  
  
Ant can’t say no, not with all the thoughts swirling around in his head.  
  
Jérôme is chipper as always, smiling widely as he knocks the pint of beer in Ant’s direction. He glances at the Portuguese man with bright blue eyes as he takes a sip of his own beer. “So you want to talk about what happened?”  
  
“Not really,” Ant says, pulling his hand over his face in frustration. He doesn’t miss Jérôme ’s gaze falling onto the ring that he still hasn’t taken of. “Oh, I can see the problem...I thought it was just a big practical joke with Daniel been there-”  
  
“It’s no joke,” Ant says softly, taking a sip of his drink. “It’s...just...I don’t know, Jérôme , I just-”  
  
“It’s okay,” Jérôme says softly. “I can understand. You do not see it as a joke like he does?”  
  
“He was embarrassed...he just wanted to get out of there, didn’t want to talk about anything. He just told me to get an annulment and left,”  
  
Jérôme’s eyebrows raise. “He’s probably worried about what the team and other people are going to say, I suppose,”  
  
Ant takes another drink silently.  
  
“What has Roger said about it?”  
  
“Nothing of yet. I don’t think he’s aware of what Snapchat is thankfully,”  
  
“That is good though,” Jérôme says, running a finger in circles over the rim of his beer glass. “Buys you enough time to get an annulment,”  
  
“I don’t think we can,” Ant admit quietly.  
  
“Why not?”  
  
“Because we...ummm...I think we consummated the marriage. At first, I thought it was just drunken words but like I found a condom this morning-”  
  
Jérôme fights back a laugh.  
  
“Jer, this isn’t funny! Like I think we might have actually slept together!”  
  
“It is funny though...Robin had a crush on you for ages though-”  
  
“What-” Ant says, eyes flicking up to meet the Belgian’s eyes. “What do you mean he had a crush on me?”  
  
“When he first came to Formula E,” Jérôme says, grinning widely as Ant opens his mouth to argue. “Yes, yes, I am aware that you two had some kind of rivalry in Formula Renault or whatever - but like, when he first joined Andretti, he had such a massive crush on you. That’s why he was so horrible to you, he was trying to hide it all the time. Simona teased him so much about it-”  
  
Ant can’t find any words for a moment. He always assumed that it was friendly banter - always found it interesting that Robin considered them as racing rivals, since Formula Renault seemed like so many years ago and they’d only crossed paths in Red Bull a few times - but he never expected the reason for Robin’s friendly competition was that he had a crush on him.  
  
“I thought you knew, half the grid knew - some of them gave him a hard time-”  
  
“What? Who?”  
  
“Piquet gave him a lot of shit, Turvey wasn’t particularly nice to him either… probably wanted to stay on Piquet’s good side. He just like made catty comments and shit whenever Robin so much looked in your direction-”  
  
“What a prick, why didn’t Robin say anything?”  
  
“Why would he?” Jérôme says, sipping on his beer. “He was never going to tell you Anto. He was too embarrassed about the whole thing, didn’t want anyone to tell you what was going on,”  
  
“And like, this crush, it just went away?”  
  
Jérôme raises an eyebrow. “I don’t know...I never really spoke to him about it, I assumed that he spoke about it with Simona or Sam or someone else. I just knew that he had a crush on you,”  
  
“Oh,” Ant says, worrying his lip.  
  
“Why do you ask?”  
  
“I-”  
  
“Hey, it’s okay,” Jérôme says, his blue eyes flickering over his almost empty beer glass. “Like it’s okay if you have feelings for him...I mean you did marry him after all,” The smile is wide on his face.  
  
“I don’t know, Jer, like I was cuddling him the night after and like it felt right you know?” Ant can feel the blush painting his cheeks as he downs the rest of the beer. “Like I don’t know...I guess just recently I’ve been seeing him as more than just a friend,”  
  
“So what do you plan to do about it?”  
  
“I don’t know, I don’t even think he’s interested anymore,”  
  
“Ant, the pair of you may or may not have had drunken sex last night and got married, like I don’t think it’s a case of him not being interested,”  
  
“Maybe,” Ant says, picking at his fingernails.  
  
“Look the question here is, do you think you feel anything for him?”  
  
Ant finds he can’t answer the question.  
  
“Just think about that, about whether you want this,” Jérôme says, patting Ant on the arm as he smiles.  
  
“But I’m scared-”  
  
“You’re scared that he has gotten over it and that he doesn’t feel the same way. You’re frightened of being rejected,”  
  
“I guess you’re right,” Ant says, scratching the back of his neck, the light catching on the wedding ring he is still wearing. 

He knows that Jérôme has seen the ring but the half Italian man doesn’t say anything. “Just leave him to cool off for a few days and then talk it through. Even if it doesn’t turn out the way you want, at least you can stay friends,”  
  
Jérôme gives good advice, Ant thinks as he slopes off to the bar and orders them another drink.  


* * *

 

  
They don’t speak for a few weeks after that - Robin goes back to Belgium for a few weeks and throws himself into practising and training, even going as far as going into the simulator for a few attempts at the Buenos Aires circuit he will face next. He tries to push the thought of Ant out of his mind, the wedding ring he’d ended up tucked away in his washbag that he carries around with him, shoving it right to the bottom next to his shaving gel and razor. He knows he should throw it away but he can’t.  
  
He knows he should call Ant, see if he needs help with any of the paperwork. But he can’t do it.  
  
“Thinking about a certain Portuguese?” Simona teases. She’s in Europe for some brief meeting and Robin knew that when she called, he wouldn’t be able to avoid not seeing her. She knew all about him and Ant and although she’d teased him for the best part of a year, she had always been supportive and let him cry on her shoulder in a figurative way.  
  
“Of course not,” He says, worrying his lip but she knows. She has always been able to see right through anything he says in relation to Ant. He remembers his first season, when he’d seen Ant across the paddock in his navy overalls, emblazoned with the ever present Red Bull. Simona had watched his gaze and knocked her elbow playfully into his side.  
  
“See something you like?” She had teased.  
  
He had rolled his eyes, trying to ignore the blush spreading over his cheeks. He remembers it even now, her eyes still sparkle now as they did then.  
  
“So are you single and ready to mingle again now? Or still in your stay-in-my-pyjamas-and-eat-chocolates phase?” She asks, sipping on her lemon water.  
  
“Simona-” Robin begins, rubbing a hand over his face, only to feel a light slap on his other hand. “Ow! What was that for?”  
  
“For not inviting me to your wedding with Ant,”  
  
“Simona, for gods sake, it was a drunken mistake,”  
  
“Robin Frijns, you’ve been out drinking with me before and we’ve never ended up married,”  
  
“Because-”  
  
“Because what?” Simona raises an eyebrow.  
  
“Because you- you’re not my type? Like g-girls aren’t my type-” Robin stops, feeling the blush dance over his cheeks.  
  
He feels Simona slide a hand over his own. “And that’s okay that they aren’t,”  
  
“How long have you known?” Robin asks, biting down on his lip.  
  
“Ever since you came to Andretti for the first time. It wasn’t difficult to work out...you never had a girlfriend or spoke of girls and you would watch Ant like a hawk. I always waited for you to tell me for certain though,” Simona takes another drink, her thumb swiping over Robin’s finger. “It doesn’t change anything. We’re still friends and I will support you,”  
  
“Thank you,” Robin says softly, smiling at his ex teammate.  
  
“So what’s going to happen between you and Ant?” Simona asks, changing the subject.  
  
Robin pushes a hand through his hair. “I don’t know...I kinda left and yelled at him that he needed to get an annulment,”  
  
“Robin!” Simona says, wrenching her hand away. “You just left?”  
  
“I panicked! I was wearing barely any clothes and I had a wedding ring on! I panicked, okay?” Robin replies, pushing a hand through his hair. “I was worried about what Roger would say-”  
  
“Roger wouldn’t care,” Simona says, shaking her head. “I mean, you didn’t exactly take Ant around the back of the garage and blow him did you?”  
  
Robin feels his cheeks turn pink. “Of course not but I-”  
  
“I’m kidding, Robin. I know you wouldn’t. So you haven’t spoken to Ant about what you want?”  
  
“Sort of,”  
  
“In what way?”  
  
“I told him that we couldn’t stay married,” Robin worries his lip.  
  
Simona nods. “So what are you going to do?”  
  
“I don’t know...he’s sorting everything out. I just wanted to run away from it all, I guess,”  
  
“And you don’t want to be married to him?”  
  
Robin hesitates.  


* * *

  
Ant sighs heavily as he glances down at the paperwork that is still blank before him. His phone is buzzing at the end of him from the group chat as he taps the pen against the table.  
  
_Decree of Annulment_ the papers declare. Ant gulps down the rest of his black coffee and slowly brings his pen against the paper.  
  
_Robin Frijns_ he writes before he pauses at the next box. He knows his name is supposed to go there but he can’t bring himself to do it. He worries his lip. It’s four words - four simple little words - four words that he’s known how to write since he was a kid. But he can’t do it. He drops the pen and pushes a hand through his hair. He needs to do this - Robin would want him to do this, he reasons, _he doesn’t want to stay married to you all his life_ \- he has to get over this.  
  
“Flight to Buenos Aires now boarding,” The tannoy pipes up and Ant is glad of the distraction, he’s secretly glad that he’s been interrupted. He throws the pen and the documents back into his backpack, his eyes still catching on the _Robin Frijns_ in the box. He pushes the thoughts away and shoves his backpack over his shoulder, heading for the gate.  
  
He checks his phone before he leaves, wonders if he should message Robin and check if he’s there or not already. He flicks through Robin’s instagram page before he clicks his phone off and tries not to think of the Dutchman. He still carries the ring with him - he finally pulled it off his finger after his talk with Jérôme and stowed it around his silver bracelet that he always wore. The thick gold circle of metal seemed to taunt him and he pushed the sleeves of his grey hoodie over his hands and leaned against the window, watching the thick grey raindrops pelt the window.  
  
He doesn’t remember much more after he clicks his seatbelt into place and switching his phone off, leaning back against the window as the engines start up.  


* * *

  
Ant’s on autopilot as he steps out of the airport, feeling the warm sunshine brush over his hoodie. He knows he should take it off before he starts to sweat, but he still feels exhausted from the flight over. The tall building of the Buenos Aires skyline seem to glimmer in the early morning sunlight and usually Ant would take in the sight before him but tiredness itches at his eyelids. Finally, the realisation that he’s in Buenos Aires, that he’s in the same place as Robin. It’s been weeks since they saw each other, since Robin had hurried out of the honeymoon suite, wearing the clothes he’d gone out in. He’s going to meet his still current husband - he remembers the papers still in his bag, still unfilled and swears lightly under his breath.  
  
“Fuck,” He murmurs against the glass of the car window. Maybe he can get through the weekend without Robin mentioning it - before he remembers the team dinner later that evening and curses again. The sweat drips slowly down his back - pooling at the base of his jeans, the sunlight still bouncing onto his face. He tries to think of the racing, of the circuit, of the steering wheel in his hands but all he comes back to is Robin’s face - the tiny crinkles at the side of his mouth when he smiles, or how his eyes wrinkle up when his lips upturn. He’s glad to arrive at the hotel, glad to check in and get to his room and to strip off his disgusting sweaty hoodie - he barely watches where he is going in his rush to get to his room, finding himself walking into someone else.  
  
An apology quickly pulls itself from his lips before he pauses, looking into familiar blue eyes. The blue eyes of the man he married a few weeks ago, of his teammate - he thinks, worrying his lip.  
  
“R-Robin,”  
  
“Ant, I see you finally got here, late as usual-”  
  
“Y-yeah,” Ant says softly, teeth still caught on his lip. Robin looks good, the break seems to have suited him - his hair is a touch longer and there’s more of a tan to his skin. Ant catches himself glancing at Robin’s hand for a moment, only to find the wedding ring missing. It was to be expected - he tells himself, trying to ignore the dull ache in his chest. “Anyways, I’m going to go and catch a few hours sleep,”  
  
“Oh, okay,” Robin says, dancing from foot to foot. “I guess I’ll see you at the team dinner?”  
  
“Yeah, sounds good,” Ant replies, allowing Robin to brush past him and disappear down the corridor. He hates how strange things are between them now, how much things have changed. His eyes meet the white-gold ring still hanging on his bracelet as he pushes the keycard into the slot and the door to his hotel room pops open. He barely takes in the features of the room, pausing only to shove his suitcase down and kick off his trainers before he sinks down onto the bed. He dreams of Robin, of the Dutchman standing before him, dreams of Robin’s soft lips on his own, of Robin’s thin fingers brushing over his cock -  
  
“Ant,” He hears Robin’s silky low voice against his ear.  
  
He wakes up with slick semen coating the inside of his boxer shorts, his skin covered in a thin layer of sweat. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dutch  
> Moeder - mother  
> Lieverd - darling  
> kneus - idiot


	2. part two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ant and Robin meet again at the BAeprix and have to fight not only with their feelings, but with some growing adversity.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was originally planned to be a two parter, but Robin just won't do as he's asked so could be another part or two. Apologies for Nelson, but well, I needed a villain. Not sure about this chapter but I am tired of tinkering with it.  
> Enjoy! :)

Ant wakes up with a start - panting heavily as he tries to push the thoughts of Robin’s lips, of the Dutchman’s soft blue eyes gazing into his brown ones from his mind. He checks his watch and curses at the time. It’s well after 7:30, he’s slept longer than he intended to - and he was supposed to meet the team for the dinner at 7:00. Slipping off the bed, he glances down at his slightly wrinkled shirt and jeans and decides that it will have to do as he slides his feet into his trainers that he’d kicked off earlier. He grabs his phone, his hand brushing through his unruly hair in an attempt to tidy it up as he quickly locks his hotel room door and heads downstairs to the restaurant. The team are already all there, taking up several tables in the hotel - they cheer when they see Ant and a warm hand closes around his wrist and he finds himself looking into the same blue eyes that were in his dream, the same blue eyes that belong to his husband.   
  
_Robin._   
  
He bites down on his lip at the sight of Robin in front of him once more. Robin’s fingers are still curled around his wrist and they seem to sear his skin.   
  
“Nice of you to join us!” Roger pipes up at the head of the table, snapping the pair out of their reverie. Robin snatches his hand back as though Ant burns and folds himself back down into his chair. Ant slides into the chair next to him. Dinner seems to pass slowly - more slowly than usual - Ant tries to focus on his steak, not on the fact that Robin is a few inches away from him. He notices that Robin seems to be the only person not drinking - sticking to what appears to water in his glass at the side. It feels good to be back with the team again, listening to the banter and the jokes rising across all sides of the table and the alcohol is bitter against the back of his throat. He tries not to think about the last time he drank - about what happened - the ring is still attached to his bracelet, still shining in the dim light of the restaurant. Ant chances a glance at Robin’s finger as the Dutchman picks at his food - the ring is gone - he expected it to but still there’s a stab of pain in his chest at the sight of Robin’s bare finger.   
  
The steak is well cooked and the wine seems to follow it down easily. Ant stops after a glass or two, memories of what happened last time he was drunk float up inside his brain - of Robin’s lips against his own, of Robin’s eyes fixed on him trusting, his fingers curled around his hardened cock. Ant shifts from side to side, teeth caught on his lip. He’s half hard - thinking about his fingers all over Robin’s body, his leg shifts against the Dutchman’s for a moment and he bites back a whimper. Robin’s eyes slide away from where the mechanics are talking to meet Ant’s wrist. Ant feels his mouth go dry as Robin catches sight of the white-gold circle that stands out against the solid silver.   
  
Robin stands up from the table, his chair scraping against the floor as he smiles at the team.   
  
“I better go to bed, I have an early start tomorrow,” He declares as the team pretend to jeer and shout their disapproval. He leave shortly after all, waving at everyone before turning on his heel and leaving. Ant worries his lip, as he pushes his steak away and announces that he too is heading up to bed.   
  
“Don’t forget you’ve got filming tomorrow!” Amy calls out, and Ant smiles, waving at her as he follows Robin out of the room. He’s quick on his feet after the Dutchman, catching him at the end of the corridor. Robin doesn’t stop, however and continues up the stairs and out of the door which presumably leads outside. Ant follows his teammate out, pausing as he sees the smaller man leaning over the railings trying to catch his breath. The sight of Buenos Aires is illuminated before them and usually Ant would take in the beautiful sight before him, but his attention is on the Dutchman still panting.   
  
“Robin-”  
  
“Leave me alone,” Robin mutters out, his voice strangely full of venom. “I don’t want to talk,”  
  
“Robin, please-”  
  
“Look, I don’t want to talk about what happened, Ant. It’s still nothing but a mistake to me. We have to move on, we’re teammates for god’s sake,”  
  
“Robin, we got married, it was a mistake, you can say the word-”  
  
“And you’re still wearing your wedding ring, Ant!” Robin hisses out, glancing over Ant’s shoulder. “You said it was nothing, you said you’d get the annulment,”  
  
“What are you so afraid of?”  
  
“Nothing,” Robin says quickly. “You just said-”  
  
“I know what I said. I just don’t know what you’re so afraid of?”  
  
“I’m not afraid of anything. You said you’d get the annulment, Ant. You agreed that we shouldn’t stay married,”  
  
Ant thinks about the unfinished paperwork back in his backpack, thinks about the way Robin had looked at him at dinner. “I did it. I got the annulment,”  
  
Robin is silent for a moment. “So it’s done? We’re not married anymore?”  
  
“No, I sent it off when I was back in Vegas, Jérôme helped me out,” Ant can’t stop the lies tumbling from his lips and bites down on his tongue as he watches Robin’s face change. He can’t pin down exactly what emotions are lingering there - but he doesn’t see the disappointment that flashes over the Dutchman’s face for a moment.   
  
“Yeah...well that’s okay then,” Robin says, worrying his lip. “So it’s over?”  
  
Ant nods once, he hates that they’re awkward like this - he hates that they’ve lost the easygoing nature that they both used to possess. Robin looks so much younger in the moonlight of Buenos Aires - and Ant tries not to think of those plush lips pressing against his own, tries not to think of his fingers swirling around Robin’s mouth. “Are you okay?” Robin asks, breaking the silence.   
  
“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine,” Ant says softly. “Are we going to be okay?”  
  
“Of course,” Robin replies a little too quickly. “We can go back to the way things were,”  
  
Ant tries not to think about Jérôme’s comments, about how he spoke of the way Robin had hidden his crush, tries not to think of Piquet shoving Robin, whispering snide comments into his ear. But he doesn’t say anything else - it wouldn’t be fair, besides, Robin’s crush might have disappeared by now - he curses not asking Jérôme for more information. Robin is worrying his lip between his teeth, his blue eyes fixed on Ant.   
  
“Well, I’m off to bed now,” Robin says, his eyes moving to glance at the door. “We have to be up early in the morning, goodnight,”   
  
Ant wants nothing more than to follow Robin, to tell him the truth - that the papers are still in his bag, that they’re still married. But he does, he watches the Dutch man turn on his heel and leave. Ant soon follows Robin to his own hotel room and finds himself unzipping his bag - he slides out the annulment papers, his eyes once more fixing on Robin’s name neatly placed into the boxes. He looks out over the skyline of Buenos Aires, his reflection catching in the window as his fingers brush over the paper.   
  
They soon find the ring still attached to his bracelet, the pads of his fingers rubbing over the smooth cool metal.   
  


* * *

  
Robin is late, as always. Amy had said for them both to be in the car for 8:30 that morning but the display on Ant’s watch is currently reading 8:33. Amy is next to Ant, tapping her notepad and murmuring about lazy Dutch boys when the car door opens and Robin slides in - his hair still noticeably wet, the spicy cologne he uses lingers in Ant’s nostrils.    
  
“Sorry, sorry, I overslept,” He says, sliding into the seat next to Ant’s. His leg bumps against Ant’s thigh for a second before it’s snatched away, Robin shoving his seatbelt on as quickly as he can. Amy starts giving Robin the inevitable talk - about the importance of being on time and how one day he’s going to sleep through a race -    
  
“Not to mention, Nelson and Oliver will be waiting for us-”   
  
Ant feels Robin stiffen at the side of him. “Nelson and Oliver?”   
  
“Yes, they asked for us and NextEv to meet with the Argentine rugby team for the channel, isn’t that great?” Amy says, still tapping her pen against her notepad.    
  
Robin just makes a noncommittal noise and Ant wants nothing more than to grab his hand and tell him it’s going to be okay. “I am surprised they didn’t ask Jose to do it,”   
  
“Jose has enough media commitments this weekend, you’d have still had to get out of bed, Robin,” Amy says, obviously unaware of Robin’s hesitation.    
  
The car ride itself is quiet - Robin stares out of the window for most of it - and Ant doesn’t blame him. Jérôme didn’t go into details but Nelson and Oliver seemed to have given Robin a hard time last year over his crush and now he was going to turn up at a media event with the very man he’d been bullied for liking. Ant fiddles around with his phone, wants to take a few selfies but decides against it, his thigh still bumping up against Robin’s. The car ride seems to take forever and Ant isn’t sure who on the Andretti team organised the PR for this particular ePrix  but as they pull up, worry clenches inside his chest. His heart sinks when they’re ushered into a changing room - a burly but beaming man greets them warmly.    
  
“Gentlemen,” He speaks with a warm Spanish accent. “If you’d like to get changed into the kit and follow me out onto the field,”   
  
Ant pulls on the navy shirt, noting how tight it is against his body as he tries not to glance at Robin’s pale, soft skin. The shorter man has his back to Ant, slowly pulling his Andretti shirt over his head, Ant watches transfixed as the rugby shirt seems to cling to every inch of Robin’s muscular body - of his  _ husband’s  _ body.    
  
“You’re late,” A familiar accent pipes up and Oliver appears, hands on hips, his eyes raking over Ant.    
  
“Not everyone can be on time like us,” Nelson Piquet’s voice drifts up as he smiles widely at the two Andretti drivers. “Were you having to wait for Robin again? I thought by now your boss would stop him going out every night-”   
  
Robin’s cheeks turn bright red and Ant has to bite down on his tongue to stop himself saying anything. Thankfully before Nelson can make anymore comments, the man running the rugby event returns with the same smile on his face. He bundles the four drivers out onto the playing field, feeds them some lines about how they’re going to perform some line-outs for the camera - “nothing too strenuous, the boys will be launching you up into the air to catch the ball,”    
  
“Frijns will love that, being grabbed by lots of muscular men,” Piquet mutters under his breath to Oliver who muffles a snort with his hand. Ant watches Robin’s shoulders drop at the older driver’s words and bites down on the inside of his cheek. He tries to focus on what the rugby coach is saying, about where to position himself but he can’t stop thinking about Robin’s red cheeks and downcast eyes. Ant turns out to be rather good at rugby - easily able to be thrown up into the air and to catch the ball and receive it easily - smiling widely for the cameras.    
  
He can see Robin watching him, his expression is one that he can’t pin down, certainly not when he’s having a rugby ball thrown towards him. He also spots Piquet and Oliver standing fairly close to the Dutchman and wonders what they’re saying - he knows they’ve probably viewed the snapchats or at least have heard about them - he bites down on the inside of his cheek again and tastes metallic blood resting inside his mouth. He winces at the taste and carefully catches the ball, the leather biting into the palms of his hands.    
  
“Still pining over Da Costa?” Piquet says, smirk painted on his face as the pair of them watch Ant being filmed entering a scrum, he bends over, the line of his boxer shorts visible through his thin shorts and Robin feels his cheeks turn pink. Piquet spots what is holding Robin’s attention and the smirk deepens. “Clearly you like him a lot more than he likes you,”    
  
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Robin murmurs, looking down at his battered trainers. “There’s nothing between us,”   
  
“But you want there to be don’t you?” Piquet continues. “Why would Antonio like someone like you? I bet he didn’t even want you in the team,”   
  
“I-” Robin’s cheeks are blood red.  
  
“You’re so pathetic, Frijns, pining over him - so desperate for him that you get him drunk so he’ll marry you,”   
  
“We got an annulment-” Robin begins, biting on his lip.    
  
“You didn’t want it though did you? I bet even when he woke up in the morning, he looked at you and realised that he’d made a mistake didn’t he?”   
  
Robin thankfully is spared from giving the Brazilian an answer when they’re roped into photos of them posing with members of the rugby team - he positions himself as far away as he can from Piquet, Ant is on his other side, a comforting presence of sorts - even if he doesn’t wind his arm around Robin’s shoulder. Robin tries not to think of Piquet’s words -  _ realised that he’d made a mistake  _ \- as he pastes on a smile for the flashing cameras. He’s then grabbed by a couple of the rugby guys and immediately thrown into the action, he feels a smile finally come to his face as the leather of the ball bites into the palms of his hands. He forgets about Piquet, about Oliver’s smirks, about the way Ant looked when they were curled up in bed together. He almost forgets that all of this is happening, that he didn’t marry one of the guys currently watching him from the sidelines. The heat from the Argentine sun beats down on his back and he feels the beads of sweat brush against his hairline and down his back. The ball feels hard against his fingers and he’s sure he’s going to have a few bruises in the morning.    
  
However, his good mood immediately drops when he’s walking back to where Ant and Piquet are standing with a beaming smile on his face.    
  
“I’m better at it than you,” Robin exclaims, smile clinging to his lips.    
  
“You wish!” Ant replies, finding he’s missed these exchanges between them.    
  
“You’re just jealous I’m better,” Robin fires back before he notices Piquet watching their exchange with interest, his dark eyes gleaming. He begins to walk back to the changing rooms, trying to ignore the sweat still pouring down his face as Ant throws a casual arm around him, pulling him close. He tries to ignore the jolt of something that rises up inside his chest - at the sensation of Ant’s touch against his sweaty skin. Ant’s laughter is almost addictive, his skin feels like a hundred knives, heat rising from his touch.   
  
“Bicha,” Piquet’s voice rises through the laughter and Ant stiffens at the word. His arm slides away from Robin’s shoulder as he squares his jaw and turns around to face Piquet - he knows exactly what it means, and he knows with the Brazilian saying it in Portuguese, Robin will have no way of understanding.    
  
“Want to say that again?” Ant spits out in Portuguese and Piquet meets his gaze head on.    
  
“You heard what I said, Da Costa,” Piquet says, eyes flickering over to Robin. “It’s not like he can understand me anyway,”   
  
“That’s beside the point,”    
  
“It’s the truth though isn’t it?” Piquet says softly. “He’s nothing but a bicha,”   
  
Ant flinches at the word, immediately stepping closer to the Brazilian. “Don’t you speak about him in that way,”   
  
“Why not? It’s what he is, a dirty whore who sucks cock all the time-”   
  
“Say that again,” Ant snarls, his hands brushing up to shove against Piquet’s chest. The Brazilian man stumbles back but the smirk still clings to his face.    
  
“Of course you would defend him, your precious husband - did he fuck you well on your wedding night? Did you pin him down and make him scream like the bitch he is?”   
  
Ant shoves Piquet again, his cheeks burning bright red with anger, just as Robin moves to latch onto his wrist, yanking the Portuguese man away. “Ant-” Robin says, his blue eyes fixed on brown ones. “Just leave it,”   
  
“Yes,  _ Ant _ ,” Piquet sneers, this time in English. “Just leave it, go and fuck your little-”   
  
Ant snarls once more and tries to yank away from Robin’s grip. “Ant,” The Dutchman says once more, this time with more force in his tone. Ant realises that his fingernails have been gripping his palms and have drawn blood - each half moon crescent welling up with blood. But he allows himself to be lead away by Robin, the anger still twisting around inside his chest. However, when Robin reaches one of the unused changing room, he rips his hand away from Ant’s. He steers himself around, his blue eyes full of fury as they fix on Ant.    
  
“What the fuck was that?”    
  
Ant feels the anger rise up again. “What do you mean what the fuck was that? He was being a prick to you-”   
  
“And I can handle it, Ant!” Robin snarls back. “It’s not like I’ve been called worse,”   
  
“Do you know what he called you? He called you a slut and a whore,”   
  
“Like I said, I’ve been called worse,” Robin says, shaking his head. “How could you be so stupid? Shoving and squaring up to him?”   
  
“I was defending you!” Ant roars out, frustration leaking into his tone.    
  
“I don’t need defending, Ant!” Robin yells. “I’m not some guy who can’t take a few names okay?”   
  
“You shouldn’t have to deal with that, not from that prick-”   
  
“You’d just make things worse, Ant!” Robin says, his cheeks pink with anger. “He’s not going to stop is he? Now when you’re defending me like - like a boyf-” He stops himself before he finishes his sentence.   
  
“What were you going to say?” Ant asks, his eyes narrowed.    
  
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Robin says, shaking his head. “I wasn’t going to say anything-”   
  
“What are you so afraid of? Why don’t you want me to defend you? Are you embarrassed of me?”   
  
“Just leave it!” Robin yells back, pushing a hand through his hair.    
  
Ant moves closer, backing Robin against the wall, his brown eyes burning into the Dutchman’s bright blue ones. “Why don’t you make me?”   
  
Robin bites down on his lip as his eyes gaze over his teammate’s soft brown eyes. Ant doesn’t move away - his eyes locked on Robin’s lips for a moment, Robin exhales slowly - his breath hitting Ant’s stubbled cheek as the two men look at each other. Time seems to stop for a moment before Ant leans in and captures Robin’s lips against his own. They’re soft and warm, Robin’s eyes slowly sliding shut as his body melts against Ant’s. Robin makes a soft sound in the back of his throat as his hands curl around Ant’s shoulders as the Portuguese man presses him against the wall. Ant gets flashes of memories - of him carrying Robin into their hotel room, of hot lips twisting against each other - but he tries to push it away, Robin’s lips are slightly chapped against his own but he doesn’t care in that moment.    
  
“Ant-” Robin murmurs against his lips, as Ant’s tongue teases over the crease of the Dutchman’s lips. Robin eagerly opens his mouth and Ant explores it with relish - his hands inching slowly towards the swell in Robin’s shorts. They continue to kiss, their lips moving against each other in harmony, their bodies pressed against one another. Ant kisses harder, deeper, trying to get every inch of Robin that he can, his fingers skim the edge of Robin’s boxer shorts - his lips still trace over the Dutchman’s. He tastes of salt and of something sweet, and Ant adores it. Ant’s tongue explores every inch of Robin’s mouth and the Dutchman lets out a breathily moan every few seconds. However, a few seconds later, Ant’s fingers brush against the swell of Robin’s cock and the Dutchman recoils, almost like he’s been burnt.    
  
Robin pushes away from Ant, his lips still swollen from Portuguese kisses and reddened cheeks and leaves without saying a word. He doesn’t turn around and look back and Ant watches him leave with a half-hard cock and lead weighing down in his chest. 

__  
What if he’s ruined everything?   



	3. part three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robin and Ant try and reconcile after the events of the Buenos Aires eprix, only for their feelings to be complicated by a karting trip to Portugal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has fought me the entire way, but I don't think I can do anything else on it! This again, is not the last part - I'm anticipating that they'll be about six parts but real life events keep happening between these two and I want to document them in the fic. Thank you to Kim for helping with the Dutch and to Chesca for yelling so much. Enjoy! :)

Robin tries to forget what happened the day before, when he made sure to leave space between himself and Ant and tried to avoid the Portuguese man’s hurt expression. He let Amy talk and talk about their plans for the next day, Ant seemed to be in his own world tapping away on his phone and Robin had tried to ignore him, to ignore the tingling sensation in his lips. He had stared out of the window, tried to focus on the race, on the reason they’re here in the first place. He remembers  feeling the sweat seeping into his hair, his sunglasses firmly on as he glanced up at the bright blue sky - he can still feel Ant’s lips against his, how right they felt. He shakes his head to dispel the thoughts - he has to get his head back into the game, he can’t allow Ant to mess up his thought process, he needs to stay focused. He still thinks about it as he collapses onto his bed, the sweat still tugging at his clothes. He knows he should change, go downstairs to the gym area and let out some of his excess energy. Robin finds himself thinking about Ant’s soft lips against his own, how his tongue had felt against his own - and sighs heavily, his pants swelling at the mere thought.    
  
He stumbles into the bathroom - staring at his face in the mirror before the cool water brushes over his reddened skin. It feels good, makes him not think about Ant, but the entire mess that they’re in. His other hand finds his washbag, up-ending the contents onto the counter - amongst his shaving foam and shampoo, there’s a familiar gold gleam. The ring looks almost innocuous resting against the white marble of the bathroom counter. Robin’s hand slowly slides around it - it’s cold against his fingers - his eyes scan over the small ring of metal still glittering in his palm. He’s not sure why he kept it -  _ he’s supposed to be moving on, he’s not even married to Ant anymore _ \- but for one night, he was. They  _ were _ married. But you’re not anymore - his brain supplies before he stuffs the ring back into his washbag and covers it with the bottles he brought to Buenos Aires. He needs to focus, he needs to get rested ready for the race tomorrow.    
  
Robin fumbles into a half restless kind of sleep, his dreams full of dark eyes and Ant’s voice before he’s pulled from the duvet just under an hour before the car is due to pick them up from the hotel. Robin goes through the motions - showers, dresses in his team shirt and strangely, he’s in the Andretti car before Ant is for once.   
  
“You’re early,” Ant says by way of a greeting when he enters the car a few minutes later. Robin tries not to gaze at the Portuguese man - at his hair, clearly still wet from the shower, at the smile painting his lips as he gazes out of the window. “Did you even sleep?”   
  
“A little,” Robin says, pushing his sunglasses further up onto his face.    
  
The sweat is already beginning to settle on his skin and he’s trying not to think about the man at the side of him. He needs to focus on the task ahead, needs to get his head into race mode. He plays with the label of his water bottle and tries to focus on the day ahead, on the time he has to adapt to the track. The sun continues to beat down, the sweat sinking into the thin material of his team shirt. The kiss keeps replaying in his mind, how good Ant had felt against him. The tarmac of the track in Puerto Madero seems to rise up out of nowhere, bleached white by the heat. It seems welcoming, stretching out against the golden fingers of the sunshine. The rest of the journey is permeated by Ant tapping away on his iPhone and Robin staring out of the window, the paddock looming up before him. The track walk is quiet. They walk at the side of one another, the sweat soaking into their collars before they part ways and focus on the race ahead. Robin barely sees Ant on the other side of the garage - he’s pulled away for interviews with Dario, sliding into his racing overalls and going over his last minute race checks - before he’s pulling on his helmet and all thoughts of Ant vanish beneath the turns and the tarmac of Buenos Aires. 

All thoughts come running back however, when Ant’s car slams into the turn six barrier, ending the practise session and ruining his car. Robin tries to swallow the panic at the sight of Ant’s Andretti stranded in the middle of the track- the helmet that he remembers sitting in the garage, the white mixing with red and green - Portuguese colours - and he feels sick to his stomach.    
  
“Is Ant okay?” The words seem like treacle against the back of his throat, Ant’s stricken Andretti disappearing in his mirrors as he rounds the corner, thinking about Ant slumped in the cockpit, Ant not responding to his engineer, blood smeared over his forehead - “Is he?”   
  
“He’s speaking to us,” Dan’s smooth American tones are soft against Robin’s ear. “It was a shunt, but he’s okay,”   
  
Robin lets out a sigh of relief he didn’t know he was holding as he brings his car back to the garage, the red flags still waving in his line of sight. He stays in his car, tries to keep his heartbeat steady as the seconds tick by. Ant finally plods back into the paddock with his head down, helmet still firmly on. He disappears off into the medical tent flanked by Roger and strangely by Sam Bird - whose hand curls around Ant’s neck, making Robin bite down on his lip. He stays in his cockpit, awaiting the moment when the track is reopened, when the bits of Ant’s Andretti are finally picked off the street circuit. He tries not to think about the ring still in his washbag, tries not to think about Sam’s hand curled around Ant, his fingers brushing against his hair.    
  
“Robin?”   
  
Robin tries to focus on the task at hand; tries to focus on getting the data for the team - he has to work even harder on making sure that Andretti has the data they need whilst Ant gets checked out. His thoughts stray to the Portuguese man, to Sam Bird’s worried expression and his hand curling around Ant...he has to stay focused, he reasons - the last thing he or Andretti want is both drivers in the medical centre getting checked over. After what seems like hours, the organisers finally allow the circuit to be reopened, having picked up all the debris from Ant’s car from the track. Robin flips his visor down and tries to focus on what is needed of him, he tries not to think about Ant, about how much worse things could have been. He focuses on the wheel beneath his fingers, on the brakes under his feet, on the way the car moves under braking and where he can shave a few tenths of a second off his time. His thoughts go back to Ant though, to the day before, to how Ant’s lips felt against his own - warm, slightly chapped, his stubble brushing against Robin’s cheek -    
  
“Robin, focus,” The calm voice penetrates through his earplugs, through the racket in the car and his attention is once more brought back to the circuit, to collecting the data.   
  


* * *

  
Robin doesn’t see Ant again, not even when the engineers are packing everything away, eager to forget the race. Robin himself wants to forget that the day even happened - he didn’t finish in the points or even remotely make an impact on the race at all. He sinks back into his bedsheets, fiddling with his phone as he fights to get comfortable. His thoughts end up gravitating towards his teammate, wondering how he is - before they turn to how soft Ant’s lips felt against his own, how he had sighed against Robin’s mouth, how good his stubble had felt rubbing against Robin’s cheek. His hand slides under his loose boxer shorts, gripping his half hardening cock. It rubs slightly against the coarse material and he gasps at the sensation, imagining it’s Ant’s hand curling around his dick. He gasps as he rubs himself underneath his boxer shorts, as his cock swells at the thought of Ant next to him, at the thought of the Portuguese man with his eyes dark with hunger -   
  
“A-Ant,” He murmurs out, his words muffled by the duvet as his fingers swipe over the aching slit of his dick. He’s close, which is ridiculous because he seems to have only just shoved his hand around his cock, but the thought of Ant is making him so warm, he can feel the pre-come rubbing over his fingers. He twists slightly in his bedsheets, which mould around his slight form, his hand still rubbing gently over his swollen cock as he murmurs into the duvet. Ant’s name slips again from his lips before he can stop it, his fingers curling gently over his balls - as a knock permeates through his breathly moans.   
  
“Robin?” A voice penetrates through the dim light filling Robin’s hotel room and he groans - he knows that voice. Another soft knock brushes through the air. It’s Ant - Robin knows that voice, he’s heard it so many times before. Robin sighs heavily, removing his hand slowly from his aching swollen dick before pulling himself free of his bedsheets. He opens the door, finding Ant standing in the hallway with dark circles under his eyes, his lip caught between his teeth.    
  
“Ant, it’s late, what’s the matter?” Robin finds himself saying, his hand still curled around the door.    
  
“Can I come in?” Ant’s voice is quiet and Robin knows he should say no, he knows that his cock is still weeping against the thin material of his boxer shorts but he can’t say no to Ant. He wordlessly stands to one side and allows the Portuguese man to step inside his hotel room. The silence stretches out between the two drivers as Robin closes the door gently and turns towards Ant. The Portuguese man stands, looking out over the view of Buenos Aires from Robin’s hotel room.    
  
“Wow, you really got a good view from here,” Ant says, his voice is soft and barely audible.    
  
“You didn’t come here to see my view though, did you?” Robin says, worrying his lip between his teeth.   
  
“No, I didn’t. I wanted to talk about what happened last night,”   
  
Robin bites his lip. “There’s nothing to discuss,”   
  
“Robin, we need to talk about this-”   
  
“Ant, we kissed, it was nothing more than a mistake,” Robin says, trying to ignore the tugging inside his chest at the sight of Ant in front of him.    
  
Ant sighs heavily, sinking onto the bed, his hand pushing through his hair. “Robin, I want to move past this,”   
  
“But you keep saying we need to talk about it, Ant,” Robin says, biting his lip. “If you want to move on-”   
  
“I do,” Ant says with exasperation. “I want us to go back to being normal, to being teammates. We need to do that at least,”   
  
“And the way to do that is to pretend that none of this….none of the marriage happened. It’s annulled now anyway isn’t it?”   
  
Ant tries not to think about the papers still in his bag, the papers that remain unsigned and hopes that the panic isn’t evident in his eyes. “It...it is. But we still need to talk about what happened,”   
  
“We got married, it was a mistake. We were both lonely and drunk, we kissed afterwards and it was a mistake. It’s just mistake after mistake,” Robin says, glancing out of the window at the dying embers of the Argentinian sun. “So what now?”   
  
“Can we move on? We’ve got a good month before the Mexico ePrix and I want us both to be at our best,”   
  
“I want that too,” Robin says softly, thinking about their bad results today - they’d both finished out of the points and the atmosphere inside Andretti was not a favourable one as everyone had packed away with morose faces. “Are you okay by the way?”   
  
“Yeah, just a few bruises. Nothing to worry about. So friends? Teammates?” Ant says slowly and Robin finds himself nodding. He watches Ant’s dark brown eyes seem to turn amber in the dying embers of the sunlight.    
  
“That sounds like a good plan,” Robin says.  
  
And it is. They share a few beers on the balcony of Robin’s hotel suite and the conversation rolls off easily - from Antonio’s new endeavours in other series of motorsport to Robin’s contract in the Blancpain series. Ant’s halfway through talking about something Tiago said when he glances at the illuminated dial on his watch.    
  
“I should head back to my room, I have an early flight tomorrow,” He says, pulling himself to his feet. Robin watches him leave with an ache in his heart, of which he cannot place. It’s not until later when he downs the rest of the lukewarm beer and slides into his now-cold sheets, his hand once more cups his swelling cock, dark brown eyes filling his mind.    
  


* * *

  
Robin tries to forget about Buenos Aires - he returns to Maastricht, his suitcase leaving his hand the second he steps into his apartment. He curls up on his couch, still dressed in his light grey hoodie, his thoughts spinning over and over again. His hand finds his rucksack, presses inside his washbag until his fingers close around the cold ring of metal. He slowly pulls it away from his washbag, examining it carefully - it still gleams in the dim light of his lounge - he tries to remember Ant sliding it onto his finger, tries to remember anything about that night. But he can’t. It’s still a smudged blur in his memory. He feels his eyes grow heavy - probably from the jetlag and going through several time zones - and sinks into a dreamless sleep, his fingers remain clasped gently around the small sphere of metal that attached him to Ant for a few hours.   
  
Robin tries to sink into normality once more, pushes the thoughts of Mexico to the back of his mind. He sleeps for nine hours that night, and a good eight hours the night after. He spends the next few days slowly unpacking from his suitcase, before he caves in and dumps it all in the washing machine and goes to the gym for a few hours. It kills the time and before he knows it, he’s driving home, throwing together some pasta and chicken that was in the fridge and collapsing back onto the sofa under a throw rug. The days seem to sink into one another - he catches up with a few friends for drinks and works out at the gym every day - before the Mexican Grand Prix looms large once more.    
  
He’s in the process of checking through his emails for his flight ticket when his phone buzzes out. He checks the display and is surprised to see Dani’s name on the screen. He swipes to answer the call.    
  
“Hello?”   
  
“Frijnsy! Long time no speak!”   
  
Robin feels the smile curves over his lips. “Dani, how are you doing?”   
  
“Not too bad, you’re still coming to Portugal on Wednesday?”   
  
Robin feels his chest seize up at the mere mention of Portugal.  _ Portugal. Ant.  _ _  
_ _  
_ “W-what?” Robin asks, hoping his voice isn’t too strangled.    
  
“Portugal remember?  Dude, we organised it months ago. You, me, Felix and Ant? Karting remember?”   
  
“Karting, s-sure,” Robin says, ignoring the sickness pressing through his chest.  
  
If they’re karting in Portugal, surely they’re staying at Ant’s place. He’s been there before - but it was before everything happened - he’s not sure if he can do it, if he can stay at Ant’s house.    
  
“Robin, you there man?” Dani’s voice is calm and soft over the phone. “Robin?”   
  
“Yeah, sorry, I’m here. On Wednesday, you say?”   
  
“Yeah, Ant said he’d pick us up at the airport. I’m arriving on Tuesday because I’m bringing my own car because I have to leave early on Saturday morning to do some testing and I think Felix is arriving on Wednesday morning. So if you book your flight for around the same time and text Ant the details and we’ll come and pick you up okay?”   
  
“Okay,” Robin replies, feeling the ache building in his chest. He tries not to let it show - after all, he and Ant agreed that they could be friends, that they would carry on as normal. Dani finishes their phone call with his usual cheerful manner, asking Robin to text him the details of the flight when he’s booked it. He ends the call and Robin stares at his phone for a moment. He can’t let the guys down - and it’s not like he and Ant will be on their own, Dani and Felix will help lessen the tension between them. He books his flights that evening and texts Dani later on with the details, before he falls into a dreamless sleep.    
  


* * *

  
The next few days melt away until Robin is standing outside the terminal of Lisbon Airport, sweat dripping down the back of his thin t-shirt, sunglasses hiding his tired eyes from the sun. He slept on the flight over, folded into his hoodie, but he still feels restless. He suddenly spots the familiar head of dark hair that belongs to his best friend. Dani looks tanned and happy - the darkness of his skin amplified by his white t-shirt.    
  
“Robin!” Dani says, flinging himself into Robin’s arms. Robin accepts the hug, a smile spreading over his face. The anxiety that had been building in his chest seems to dissipate as Dani slaps him on the back lightly. “Missed you, man!”    
  
Robin grins. “I missed you too,” He exclaims as Dani steps away and allows Felix to lean in for a hug.    
  
“We’re surprised you even managed to wake up for the flight,” Felix jokes as he pulls away. Robin’s eyes finally land on the person he hasn’t seen for two weeks. Ant looks good - his skin is a healthy golden glow to it, attributed to the fortnight he’s had back in Portugal and he’s wearing the tiniest pair of shorts that Robin has ever seen.    
  
“Hey,” Ant says, smiling and showing off his white teeth as he moves forward slowly, enveloping Robin in a hug. It’s awkward between the two of them, and Robin catches the scent of Ant’s cologne and his hair product for a second before they both part. Robin scratches the back of his neck, his lip catching between his teeth.    
  
“It’s good to see you,” Robin says quietly.    
  
“You too,” Ant says, his eyes locked on Robin. Time seems to slow as brown eyes lock on blue before thankfully, Dani breaks the silence. “So how about dinner?”   
  
“I’m starving,” Robin says just as his stomach begins to growl. The group immediately burst into laughter, the awkward tension between them disappearing as they pile into Ant’s flashy new BMW. The conversation soon turns to various things - like the race in Mexico in a few weeks and Dani’s venture into Blancpain. Robin and Dani end up in the backseat discussing where the best coffee machines are located at the Nurburgring.    
  
“I’m doing the next race at Brands Hatch,” Ant says quietly, his eyes on the road. However, they’re immediately torn away for a moment when Dani smacks his arm lightly.    
  
“What was that for?” Ant says, rubbing it before replacing his hand on the steering wheel.    
  
“For keeping that quiet!” Dani replies, his dark eyes flashing. “Thought I’d be stuck with Frijns here during that weekend and he’d try and use my motorhome for his naps-” He pauses as Robin lightly knocks Dani’s shoulder. “Hey!”   
  
“My motorhome is better than yours, Audi pay for mine,” Robin says, winking.    
  
“Still got better coffee in the Mercedes motorhome, man,” Dani shoots back and the awkward mood soon vanishes.  
  
Robin’s eyes keep darting over to Ant, to the curve of his back against the driving seat, to the dark stubble on the Portuguese man’s chin. They pull away, to glance at the trees on either side of the road before they dart back, unable to stay there for long before they rest back on Ant. Robin never notices Dani’s dark eyes following his gaze.    
  


* * *

  
The rest of the day is spent at Ant’s apartment playing pool, having a swim followed by a gym session before they retire to Ant’s favourite tapas restaurant for the evening. The meal is wonderful and they talk easily between themselves. They have a couple of beers before they walk back to Ant’s place and settle down for the night. Robin immediately stakes a claim on the spare room, flopping down on the right hand side of the bed.    
  
“That’s fine Frijns! You snore anyways!” Felix calls out from Ant’s room as Dani flops onto the bed next to Robin.    
  
“Guess I’m stuck with your loud ass then,” Dani says, hitting Robin with a pillow.    
  
Felix snorts from the other room. “Don’t know why you’re laughing Rosenqvist. Ant is going to put his freezing cold feet on you when you’re half asleep,”   
  
“That was one time!” Ant appears in the doorway of the spare room, toothpaste foam still in his mouth. “Besides, you kick in your sleep-”   
  
Before Dani can interject, Robin bursts into laughter. “Am I the only one who just sleeps like a normal person?” Felix’s voice pipes up through the wall.    
  
“You sleep like the dead, Felix,” Dani yells out. “Like you don’t move at all. Last time, me and Ant nearly called an ambulance,”   
  
“Fuck you,” Felix replies. “At least I stay on my side of the bed-”   
  
“That was one time-”   
  
“Waking up half hungover with you spooning me wasn’t a good feeling, Daniel,” Felix mutters and Robin can imagine him shaking his head.  
  
Robin wonders if he’s already lying in Ant’s bed - for a moment, something clenches in his chest for a moment - that Felix and Ant will share a bed. He wonders if Felix will end up curled next to Ant, if their bodies will touch -    
  
“Better go to sleep anyways. Robin needs at least eleven hours of beauty sleep,”   
  
Robin ends up throwing the pillow back in Dani’s face.    
  


* * *

  
The karting itself is generally quite fun - in spite of Ant waking them up early in the morning. He redeems himself by making the best eggs that Robin has ever tasted. The Portuguese sun rises up over the mountaintops as the four men pile into Ant’s BMW to head to the karting circuit. The day passes in a blur of photographs, lap times and the four men folding themselves into karts. The anxiety gripping Robin’s chest unfurls itself as he slides on the helmet and allows the kart to ease over the tarmac of the track. The sun beats down on his neck as he turns into the first corner, the engine of the kart growling underneath him. Any thoughts of Ant’s dark eyes melt away as he hits the apex on the next corner, feeling the smile brush against his lips. He’s missed this. He’s missed just sliding into a kart and letting the wind brush over him - lets the kart roll through the corners, listens to the thinner wheels clip the very edge of the apex.    
  
He accelerates through the straight, taking all the speed with him into the next corner - he misses the apex slightly but recovers well into the little kinky chicane that precedes it. All thoughts of Ant and of the situation are gone from his mind. It’s just him, the kart and the tarmac and it’s all he needs. He crosses the line what seems like a few seconds later, before he accelerates into the first corner to try and notch up another fast lap. Dani joins him on the circuit after that, the two of them exchanging lap times and trying to race as close to each other as they can. Robin spots Ant by the side with Felix and feels his chest knot back up for a moment before he brakes heavily into the apex of the next corner, his concentration shifting back to the tarmac.    
  
Him and the tarmac. There’s no other thoughts.  
  


* * *

  
“I can’t believe you were fastest!” Dani teases Robin as they pile back into Ant’s car at the end of the day.    
  
“Well, probably all that gazpacho you’ve been eating!” Robin jokes back, the smile stretching over his face.    
  
“Fuck you! It’s not my fault you’re tiny!” Dani fires back, a grin plastered on his own face.    
  
“So I guess we won’t get pizza tonight?” Felix jokes from the passenger seat. “I really wanted pizza-”   
  
“I suppose Dani can have a salad-” Ant jokes and the car descends into laughter.    
  
The conversation turns to their favourite foods and Felix goes into great detail about which kind of dessert is better; apple pie or cheesecake - cheesecake of course he says, in spite of the calories - when Dani feels something brushing against his shoulder. He turns his head slightly to see Robin asleep, leaning against his shoulder. He could wake Robin up - but he sees the dark circles under the Dutchman’s eyes and decides against it. Robin looks peaceful resting against his shoulder, snoring lightly over the hip hop music blaring over the radio.    
  
“Is he asleep again?” Felix says incredulously from the passenger seat.    
  
“Yeah,” Dani says. “I can’t bring myself to wake him up,”   
  
“Let him sleep, it’s an hours drive anyways,” Ant says and Dani raises an eyebrow. Ant is usually the first person to wake Robin up - but he seems happy to allow the Dutchman to have a short nap. They drive, talking quietly amongst themselves about the upcoming Mexican ePrix. Dani doesn’t miss the glances that Ant keeps throwing in his mirror towards Robin resting against his shoulder. If Dani didn’t know any better, he’d say that it was a look of jealousy.   
  


* * *

  
They end up ordering a pizza when they get back to Ant’s place, managing to prise a sleepy Robin from the car with the promises of his favourite ham and double cheese deep pan pizza. Beers soon find their way into the men’s hands - despite Dani’s protestations that he has to leave early in the morning - and soon, the pizza boxes are empty and a collection of empty beer bottles litter Ant’s oak coffee table. Pearl Harbor ends up shoved into the DVD player - but the men are barely watching it - Ben Affleck is talking to Josh Hartnett about something but the boys are barely paying attention to it.    
  
“Remember when you said it was your favourite film and Simona totally exposed you?” Dani teases, his eyes gleaming with the after effects of alcohol.    
  
“Fuck you man, I have no idea how she saw it on my computer,” Robin slurs out, taking another sip of his beer.    
  
“What was it doing on your computer?” Felix probes, his grin wide.    
  
Robin mutters something inaudible.    
  
“We can’t hear you, Frijns,” Dani teases. “And don’t bother with the whole girlfriend thing, we know you haven’t dated anyone in over six months,”   
  
Ant feels his cheeks turn red at Dani’s comment - he wonders if Robin has had boyfriends, who he has dated and fucked, if he has a type -    
  
“Daniel and I watched it together,” Robin murmurs as quietly as he can. “He’d broken up with his girlfriend and-”   
  
“Oh my fucking god, Daniel Abt?” Ant says, his cheeks pink from the alcohol.    
  
Robin nods and takes another drink.    
  
“Oh my god, so you and Daniel Abt watched Love Actually together?” Dani says, almost spitting out his beer.   
  
“It wasn’t like that - he was upset about his girlfriend - and I stupidly thought it would make him feel better-”   
  
“Oh my god, that is golden!” Dani snorts, taking another drink.    
  
“Look, we didn’t really watch most of it, we had some wine and ended up falling asleep on the couch-” Robin says, his cheeks turning pink.   
  
The three men fall into fits of laughter. “Hey, Dani, didn’t you watch Titanic one time with Christina and start crying?”    
  
“Fuck you, I had something in my eye!” Dani splutters, throwing a pillow at Robin.    
  
“Maybe we should watch it again for old times,” Felix says, grinning at Ant. “You’ve never seen it have you?”   
  
“I don’t think I’d want to!” Ant replies, downing the rest of his beer.    
  
The night wears on and the amount of beer bottles on Ant’s coffee table increase dramatically. The four men talk amongst themselves - Robin sitting next to Ant and Dani on the floor between Felix’s legs. Pearl Harbor had finished hours ago but none of the men can be bothered to go and turn the television off, casting them all in a faint blue glow. The conversation turns to how they should return to Portugal and ride the waves.    
  
“I was thinking about going surfing tomorrow if you wanna join?” Ant says, glancing at Felix.    
  
Felix nods. “That would be great,”   
  
“Robin?” Ant turns to Robin, only to find that the Dutchman is fast asleep against the curve of the sofa, his beer bottle dangling from his fingers.    
  
“We should wake him up,” Dani smirks devilishly.    
  
“He sleeps alot,” Felix says.    
  
“Leave him, he must be tired,” Ant says, leaning in and gently pulling the half full beer bottle from Robin’s fingers. Robin makes a small noise in his sleep and shifts slightly, his head moving to rest against Ant’s shoulder.    
  
“Awww, that’s cute,” Dani says, the smile growing wider. “He’s like a little koala,”   
  
“Yeah,” Ant says, a small smile curving over his lips at how peaceful Robin looks. He loosely wraps an arm around Robin and pulls him closer - Robin makes another noise which seems happy and curls into Ant’s shoulder, letting out a soft snore. “You sure you don’t want to join us tomorrow Dani?”   
  
“I told you,” Dani says, his eyes flashing at the pair. “I have testing tomorrow,”   
  
“Shame, I was looking forward to pushing you off your board,” Ant says, grinning.    
  
“You wouldn’t even get close to me, Da Costa,” Dani jokes back. “I am sure you can beat Felix’s ass though-”   
  
“Hey, I’m good at surfing. I’m better than you!” Felix shoves him gently with his foot.    
  
“God knows why. You grew up in the middle of nowhere in Sweden,” Dani says, smiling.    
  
“Grew up in Asia, and went to New Zealand a few times with Nick,” Felix says with a wink.   
  
“Have you seen him in a while? I thought he was in Japan,” Ant asks.    
  
“He is, he’s doing Super Formula at the moment and he loves it,” Felix says, taking another sip of his beer. “Think he misses racing in Europe though, as lovely as Japan is,”   
  
“They’re crazy for him out there,” Dani says. “How is Super Formula anyways?”   
  
“Great. Got some work to do on the car but we’re getting there. Might come to Brands Hatch and bother you lot though,”   
  
“You can do, if you don’t mind being around those two lovebirds over there-” Dani teases with a huge grin on his face.    
  
Ant feels his cheeks colour bright red as Felix and Dani’s eyes fall on him and Robin still slumbering against his shoulder. “I better go to bed,” Felix announces, batting Dani’s shoulder out of the way with his thigh. He stumbles a little as he stands up and stumbles a little. “Fuck, I think I drank too much,”   
  
“There’s no such thing,” Dani slurs out, smiling. “Though I might join you, I have a drive to France tomorrow,”   
  
He stumbles to his feet, resting slightly against Felix. “You coming Da Costa?”   
  
“I’m going to put all these bottles in the recycling bin first then I’ll be straight up. I’m making breakfast in the morning if anyone wants any,” Ant replies.   
  
“You do make the best eggs,” Dani says as he grins and bids Ant goodnight and stumbles up the stairs after Felix. When they’ve finished from sight, he sighs heavily and he downs the rest of his beer and places it on the table in front of him. Ant looks down at Robin, still asleep against his shoulder.    
  
“Sleeping beauty,” He slurs gently, smiling at how peaceful Robin looks. He could leave him here to sleep but Robin hates sleeping on the couch - he complains that it kills his back - Ant slowly pulls away from Robin, allowing the Dutchman to slump back against the cushions as he begins to pick up the empty bottles from the coffee table. It doesn’t take too long - despite the large amount that they seem to have emptied between them. When he’s finished shoving all the bottles away, his gaze once more is captured by the sleeping Dutchman on the couch. He takes a few steps towards Robin - marvelling at how peaceful he looks. Robin’s arm is cushioning his head - his thick, dark eyelashes hiding the blue eyes that he loves looking at so much. Robin’s hair looks mussed and fluffy against the pillow of Ant’s cream coloured couch and he snores softly, his chest slowly rising and falling. Ant knows he should leave him on the couch but he doesn’t want a grumpy Robin in the morning so he makes the decision to carry him up the steps.    
  
He’s heavy than Ant expected. Robin snuffles against his shoulder as his head falls into the crook of Ant’s collarbone, Ant’s hands curling around his back holding him in place. Ant huffs a little at the weight but Robin doesn’t stir. A memory stirs up from his mind - that of a drunken, giggling Robin leaping into his arms and pleading to be carried over the threshold of the hotel - it’s a little easier and Ant is about to slowly walk towards the stairs. He takes longer than he expected - what with the weight of a sleepy Dutchman resting against him.    
  
Robin stirs a little as Ant’s foot hits the top step. He shifts slightly, his nose wrinkling slightly. “Fuck, ik hou van je Ant,” He murmurs.    
  
Ant has no idea what Robin is saying, except he caught his name in Robin’s garbled Dutch. He wonders what Robin is dreaming about. He approaches the door of the spare room and opens it slowly with the tip of his foot, only to stop in the doorway. Dani is on his side of the bed, but the space next to him that Robin had slept in last night is occupied by Felix, curled around the Spanish man. Ant swears gently under his breath, the air is punctuated by their soft breaths, and slowly closes the door behind him. His arms are beginning to tire as he walks the few paces to his own room. Robin murmurs again against Ant’s shoulder as he’s deposited on the bed as gently as Ant can muster. Ant glances down at the sleeping Dutchman and contemplates sleeping on the couch.    
  
_ It’s just a bed. You’re adults.  _

His back twinges slightly, giving him the answer he needs. Ant proceeds to strip down to his boxer shorts and slides into the bed next to Robin. Robin immediately shifts closer to him, to the warmth that suddenly is enveloping one of his sides and Ant doesn’t have the heart to push him away. 

  
“Slaap lekker, liefje,” Robin murmurs against Ant’s shoulder and Ant allows himself a smile. It’s a good ten minutes before he’s pulled under the veil of sleep, Robin’s warm body still pressed firmly against him.    
  


* * *

  
Robin is awoken the next morning by a pillow to the face.    
  
“Good morning, lovebird! Wake up sleeping beauty!”   
  
Robin sleepily murmurs something that sounds like fuck off against the duvet, his eyes still heavy with sleep.    
  
“So did you and Ant reconcile and have glorious sex last night?” Dani asks, his eyes still shining.    
  
“Wha-” Robin asks, before he realises that the duvet he’s under isn’t the light green one that he was sleeping under the night before. He bolts upright and glances around the room. “Where am I?” He begins - before his chest clenches. He knows exactly where he is. The familiar white duvet, the photo by the bedside of a smiling Ant with his parents and the pair of racing boots by the door. He’s in Ant’s room, he’s in Ant’s  _ bed _ .    
  
Panic floods his chest as he stares at Dani with wide eyes. “I slept in here last night?”   
  
“You did, when I came in to wake Ant up, you were curled around him like his little girlfriend. It was adorable,”   
  
Robin feels like he’s going to throw up. “I slept with Ant last night?”   
  
“You feel asleep and he must have carried you up the stairs,” Dani says. Silence brushes over the pair before Dani continues. “What’s going on, Robin?”   
  
“N-nothing, nothing is going on,” Robin says, pulling himself out of the duvet. “There’s nothing going on between me and Ant,”   
  
Dani resists the urge to roll his eyes. “Is that why you look so panicked at the prospect of sleeping in the same bed as him?”   
  
“Dani-”   
  
“Look, I know that you two got married and everything and it wasn’t what you wanted-”   
  
“But it was!” Robin blurts out before his cheeks colour bright red.    
  
Silence stretches out between the two. “I- I have to go,” Robin says, grabbing his suitcase.   
  
“Robin, your flight isn’t until tomorrow morning,” Dani tries to reason, feeling guilty about the panicked expression on his friend’s face. He watches the Dutchman pull off the clothes he slept in hurriedly, replacing his jeans with a new pair and a clean t-shirt from the mess of his suitcase. “Robin, just calm down-”   
  
“I have to go,” Robin repeats. “When are you leaving, Dani?”   
  
“In about an hour-” Dani says. “Robin, just relax and think about this-”   
  
“I can’t do this anymore, Dani. I can’t pretend for another minute. I’m going back to Maastricht,”   
  
“Robin, think about this,”   
  
“I am thinking about this, Dani. I said to him that we could be friends and I thought that this trip would help but all I’ve been thinking about is  _ him _ ,”   
  
“At least come and have breakfast,”   
  
“I’m not changing my mind, Dani. I’ll just book a different flight. I just… need to get away from this, from  _ him _ ,”   
  
Dani nods once. “Okay, okay, I’ll give you a lift to the airport,”   
  
Robin’s shoulders seem to relax a little at Dani’s words. “Thanks, man,” He says softly. Dani glances over at the rumpled sheets of Ant’s bed and wonders what happened between his two friends but he chooses to push it to the back of his mind as he goes downstairs for breakfast, leaving Robin to hurriedly shove all his belongings into his suitcase.    
  


* * *

  
Felix and Dani are sitting at the table, tucking into Ant’s eggs - they’re as good as Dani said they were - when Robin finally appears ten minutes later, his hair still mussed and sticking up haphazardly.   
  
“I’m leaving early,” Robin announces. “Something came up and I need to get home,”  
  
Ant’s hand stills on the frying pan for a moment and Dani watches him carefully, biting his tongue. Robin’s eyes settle on Dani, almost pleading.   
  
“So you’re not coming surfing then?” Felix asks, mouth full of egg.   
  
“No, I have to go straight away. Dani said he’ll give me a lift to the airport,” Robin says, flopping into a chair and grabbing a piece of toast.   
  
Dani watches the pair carefully throughout the next few minutes. Ant tries to busy himself with making the eggs but his lips are pursed and his eyes look troubled. Robin picks at his toast, his eyes flickering over to land on Ant’s back.   
  
Dani finishes his breakfast - loading himself up with eggs ready for the drive to Barcelona - he’s going to stop at his place overnight and then drive the rest of the way to Montpellier in the morning.   
  
“Better get going then,” He announces to Robin, breaking the spell of silence hovering in the kitchen.   
  
“Yeah,” Robin says softly. He stands up and captures Felix in a short hug. “Nice to see you, man,” Felix accepts the hug and slaps Robin lightly on the back, telling him to take care of himself.   
  
Robin’s gaze falls on Ant, still standing over the pan of eggs and he hesitates for a moment before moving forward. “Ant?”  
  
“Yeah?” Ant says, turning slightly.   
  
“Thanks for letting us stay, I had a good time,” Robin says quietly before he moves in slowly, his arms winding around Ant’s shoulders pressing him into a hug. Ant accepts the hug, his nose falling against Robin’s shoulder but he’s tense, his shoulders are all wired up and Robin wonders if it’s his fault.   
  
Dani watches the exchange carefully, worrying his lip as Robin slowly slides away from Ant.   
  
“Take care of yourself won’t you?” Ant says softly, his hand patting Robin awkwardly on the shoulder.   
  
Robin gives Ant a small smile before he turns on his heel and walks out of the kitchen. Dani follows him out. Ant watches them both climb into Dani’s Mercedes. The silver car rolls out of the driveway and his heart feels a little hollow.   
  
Silence drifts around the kitchen once more for a moment.  
  
“So you ready to catch some waves?” Ant asks Felix, trying to lighten the mood.  
  
“What’s going on between you and Robin?” Felix has always been forthcoming with his words.  
  
Ant feels his cheeks turn pink at Felix’s words and turns around slowly. The Swede is still sitting at the table, his ice blue eyes fixed on Ant. “And don’t give me the whole it’s fine bullshit, Ant. I know you. That’s not what you and Robin are,”  
  
“Felix, it’s because of the marriage-”  
  
“Yeah, yeah,” Felix waves his hand. “But it’s over isn’t it? You got the annulment. You two can move on now right?”  
  
Ant is silent. “I mean, dude, you’re acting like you’re still married-” Felix continues before he catches the guilt on Ant’s face. “Wait - wait, you still are, aren’t you?”  
  
“Felix-”  
  
“Does Robin know?” Felix asks, his eyes still pinning Ant to the floor.   
  
Ant worries his lip. “It’s not like that. I just had a lot on my mind and I haven’t had time to file the papers yet,”  
  
“Haven’t had time or you just don’t want to, Ant?”  
  
“I- it’s complicated,” Ant says, his lip still caught between his teeth. “He doesn’t want it, I told him that we could just be friends,”  
  
“But you don’t want that, do you?”  
  
“N-no, I don’t. I want him,” Ant admits, the colour spreading over his cheeks once more.   
  
“You have to tell him, Ant,”  
  
“Felix, you saw how he reacted this morning. There’s not a chance. If I want him in my life, it’s going to have to be his way,” Ant says with some degree of finality.   
  
Felix bites his lip, thinking about the way Robin had been looking at Ant the night before. But he keeps the thoughts to himself, brushes them away as Ant settles down opposite him with a plate full of eggs.   
  
If Ant chooses to be an idiot, that’s his business. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fuck, ik hou van je ant = fuck, i love you ant  
> slaap lekker liefje = goodnight my love


	4. part four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robin and Ant finally give into their feelings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Big thanks to my usual suspects for cheerleading me through it and for allowing me to send you snippets of porn. Very much appreciated. Warnings for well, sex and blowjobs. Enjoy :)

Robin doesn’t particularly want to be awake at 7am, standing in an airport and waiting for a flight to France to sit in a simulator for Andretti. But as he sips on his latte, his thoughts soon turn to his Portuguese man, the man he had been avoiding for two weeks. He’s seen him on his instagram - spending time in Portugal with his dogs and indulging in walks on the beach - his chest aches at the sheer sight of Ant and he wonders if he made the right call. The drive back with Dani had been awkward to say the least. Dani and he have always been close - you could argue that they were best friends - but Robin had slept most of the journey back to Barcelona. He’d tucked himself up against the window of the passenger seat as Dani had driven back through Portugal wordlessly. Robin could tell that he’d wanted to say something about him, about Ant - but thankfully, he’d remained silent.    
  
But he manages to stay awake bundled up in his favourite grey hoodie in the airport, taking small sips of his coffee. He does fall asleep on the plane, his head falling against the window seconds after he clicks his seatbelt fitting shut. Robin wakes up only when the plane touches the asphalt in Paris and stares out of the window at the dreary slate grey clouds that greet him from the window. He would rather be back in his bed in Maastricht, but duty calls - he can always grab a nap later on when it’s Ant turn in the simulator. He manages to step off the plane and collect his luggage with no problems, his rental car keys are already waiting for him at the check-in desk, (Amy is a goddess when she wants to be.) and before he knows it, he’s on his way to the Andretti headquarters.   
  
He spots Ant’s shiny BMW sitting outside the building and his chest twists a little at the sight. Of course he’s here - they’re teammates but there’s something about seeing Ant’s car once more that sets Robin on edge. Robin enters the building, attention solely on his phone when he bumps into someone’s soft chest. He glances up into dark brown eyes.    
  
_ Ant.  _   
  
“Hey, long time no see,” Ant smiles, showing off his bright white teeth.   
  
“Yeah, how’ve you been?”   
  
“I’m tired, been sat in the simulator for an hour. But now you’re here, it’s your turn!”   
  
Robin blanches. He hates simulator work. It just makes him tired and cranky, it’s dark and it doesn’t compare to driving flat out on a racetrack with a real car.    
  
“Guess you’d rather be in bed,”   
  
“You guessed right, all the coffee in the world couldn’t wake me up,”   
  
Ant chuckles and Robin feels his chest fill with warmth at the sound. He’s missed this, he’s missed this easy going repertoire that they’ve built up over the years.The day seems to melt away as Robin is coerced into the simulator. He hates it as much as he remembered - it’s dark and his muscles start to ache about an hour into the work, it’s nothing like driving a real car and he can feel himself beginning to tire when a warm hand clasps his shoulder.   
  
“Robin,” Ant’s voice is warm and soft. “C’mon, man, lets go and grab some food,”   
  
Robin is too tired to decline.    
  


* * *

  
  
They end up in some little Parisian restaurant - Ant ends up ordering them a bottle of the house red and they chew on the breadsticks before the waiter comes over and Ant places an order in perfect French.    
  
“Bastard,” Robin mutters under his breath as he takes a sip of water and Ant squares him up with a small grin.    
  
“Not my fault you never learnt French, man,” Ant says, shrugging.   
  
“How many languages do you actually speak?”   
  
“Umm...English, Portuguese, Italian, a bit of German from DTM and French,” Ant says, shrugging.    
  
“But not Dutch,” Robin says with a smirk.    
  
“I know fucking bastard in Dutch, you say it at me enough times,” Ant says, chewing thoughtfully on his breadstick.    
  
“Oh really?” Robin raises an eyebrow. He always thought he was nonchalant when it came to his mother tongue.    
  
“Vieze klootzak, you say it to me all the time,” Ant replies, placing his half eaten breadstick on his side plate as finally, their steaks make an appearance from the kitchen.    
  
They eat without much conversation - the food is too good to be wasted - and the meat seems to melt off the bone over Robin’s tongue. He washes away the fat that clings to his mouth with the sharp tones of the red wine. It’s good food and his plate is cleared faster than it usually is. He sits back, downing the rest of his wine and watching Ant’s brown eyes illuminated by the dim light of the restaurant. They’re slightly gold in the light, something that Robin never noticed before. Ant notices the Dutchman’s gaze and pushes his plate away, his steak half finished.    
  
“Fancy going back to my hotel for a few drinks?” Ant asks.    
  
Robin knows he should say no. He knows he should go back to his own room but he looks into those deep golden brown eyes and he can’t say no. He nods imperceptibly and follows Ant back to his BMW. The conversation is muted between them on the way back to the hotel - it’s a comfortable silence however. They end up on Ant’s balcony, looking out over the illuminated skyline of Paris drinking a bottle of wine that Ant acquired from somewhere. The wine goes down well enough, it’s slightly bitter against Robin’s tongue.    
  
“You don’t like it?” Ant asks, watching Robin’s face carefully.    
  
“Not a big wine drinker,” Robin admits, downing the rest of his glass.    
  
Ant refills his glass anyway. “So what have you been doing?”   
  
“Just catching up on my shows on Netflix, sleeping most of the time,” Robin decides to leave out the part where he’s spent many evenings with his hand curved around his dick calling out Ant’s name. He doesn’t think Ant would appreciate that. The conversation turns to Mexico, to what they plan on doing out there and about Ant’s surfing as Robin stifles a yawn behind his hand. Ant is still talking animatedly about his new board - bright yellow with some custom print on it and some Portugal ribbons - something which must have cost him a bomb. His eyes are glittering, the gold still evident in them from the dim streetlights that surround their balcony.    
  
“I should go to bed,” He says, stifling a yawn as there’s a lull in the conversation. He’s about to stand up when a warm hand curves around his wrist.    
  
“Don’t go,” Ant says slowly. At first Robin suspects he’s drunk, but there’s an odd sense of calm in Ant’s golden hazel eyes. His thumb slowly swipes over the soft sinews of Robin’s wrist. Robin feels his heart beat intensify as Ant leans in.    
  
“I’m not drunk, Robin-” He says slowly before Robin can speak. “I just-”   
  
“You just what?” Robin asks, his voice soft and steady. He can feel his heart beating faster.    
  
“Why did you leave?” Ant blurts out. “In Portugal, why did you leave early?”   
  
Robin can’t speak for a moment.     
  
“I-”   
  
“I’m sorry. I just carried you up to bed because I didn’t want your back to hurt, Robin-”   
  
“It’s okay,” Robin says, a small smile brushing over his lips. “I understand-”   
  
“It hurt a lot when you left,” Ant admits, his eyes hitting the floor for a second. “I didn’t think you would leave so soon, I wanted to talk-”   
  
“Ant, we talked about this-”   
  
“But we haven’t, Robin. Not properly. I just can’t stop thinking about you and I can’t stop-”   
  
Before Robin can answer, Ant leans in and closes the gap between them, their lips capture each other. Robin knows he should push the Portuguese man away but there’s something about those warm, chapped lips that he can’t ignore. He makes a small noise, his lips slowly moving over Ant’s as Ant groans into the kiss. They fall deeper into the kiss, the only sound is their lips connecting as Robin feels Ant’s hand curl over his neck. Ant’s lips are soft and warm underneath his own, his tongue moving against the soft skin. They move away from the table and Ant presses Robin up against the railings of the balcony as the kiss gets more and more heated.   
  
Robin can feel how hard Ant is against him, flashes of Vegas push through his thoughts as his tongue slides into Ant’s mouth. Ant moans into the kiss, his body pressing against Robin’s. Robin’s ass is cold against the cool metal of the ornate balustrade but that doesn’t matter to him at the moment. Ant is so warm - and his lips are like fire against Robin’s skin. Ant presses Robin further against the railing, their bodies connecting together as he deepens the kiss, as he tries to taste every inch of Robin that he can.    
  
“Ant-” Robin whispers breathlessly from between swollen lips and Ant smiles, pulling him into a kiss.    
  
“Wanted to do this to you for so long,” He mutters against Robin’s lips, his fingers still curling over the damp curls at the nape of Robin’s neck. Robin hums in agreement as Ant’s lips move off his lips and slowly map down the pale, cool skin of his jawline. Ant’s lips are soft, barely there against the dull stubble of his chin before they curve down onto his warm collarbone. Robin finds himself gasping at the contact, his body arching against Ant’s as he feels his neck slowly push itself upwards. Ant smirks at Robin’s action, his lips slowly parting over the stubbly skin of Robin’s neck. He nips slowly at the soft warmth, smiling at Robin’s groans underneath him.    
  
“Ant, fuck-”   
  
“You have no idea what I want to do to you,” Ant mutters against his sweaty skin. The words send shivers up Robin’s spine and flashes of a drunken Ant pressing him into soft Vegas sheets floats to the forefront of his mind before it’s wrenched away by the touch of Ant’s teeth scraping over his skin. He jolts a little at the contact, as Ant’s teeth scrape over the soft skin of his neck, almost certain to bruise. “Wanted you for so long,” Ant mutters thickly against his skin. His other hand moves down slowly past the thin material of Robin’s jeans, down underneath his boxer shorts and Robin feels a gasp bubble up inside his throat as Ant’s fingertips brush against his achingly hard cock.   
  
“Ant, fuck me,” Robin finds the words slipping out of his mouth as Ant’s mouth moves from his neck back up to capture his lips. “I want you,”    
  
Ant doesn’t say anything else as he smiles against Robin’s lips, pressing him against the wall. The kisses get more desperate, their bodies move against each other and their tongues follow suit. Their kisses get more desperate as Ant presses Robin into the wall, his hand still still fisted into Robin’s hair tugging his face closer. Robin groans out, his swollen cock is sore against the thin material of his jeans. He thrusts up against Ant’s hand and the Portuguese man smirks against his lips.    
  
“You’re so hungry,” Ant whispers, his fingers slowly stroking over Robin’s weeping dick, pre-come dripping over his fingers. Robin arches into the touch, a gasp escaping his mouth as his tongue is enveloped by Ant’s. He’s wanted this for so long. His entire body throbs, like it’s on fire - his skin feels like it’s going to ignite. Ant presses him further against the wall, lips moving down to press over the curve of his neck again and Robin feels like he’s going to collapse if Ant lets go. But Ant doesn’t. He shifts slightly to push Robin up the wall, his hands moving to slowly slide Robin’s jeans down still frantically kissing him, the air filled with only the soft sounds of the late Parisian night and of their mouths moving against each other.    
  
“Fuck me, Ant,” Robin whimpers and he hates himself for a second for how desperate his voice sounds.    
  
He’s wanted this for a long time, ever since they shared a room together when they were at Red Bull. Back when Ant had his shorter hair and bronzed skin and Robin had felt like a stupid teenager next to him. Ant was always so confident, always had a smile on his face, white teeth on show and before Robin knew it, his interest had blossomed into a crush. Simona had been the first to realise it. She wasn’t stupid, had seen the way he’d stole glances at the Portuguese man from across the room during driver’s meetings. At first, she had teased him a little, elbowed him when he stared, giggled when she’d written Da Costa in big letters across her white board when asked to name his rival. But the ribbing soon changed and Robin remembers getting drunk in Buenos Aires when Ant had brought along his girlfriend and proceeded to kiss her in front of the delighted crowds of the afterparty. He didn’t remember much of that night, only of dark hair and swollen lips and the giggle of Ant’s girlfriend as she sat perched on his knee, he remembers Simona’s soft eyes and her fingers pulling the glass of vodka away. He had woke up in bed with her the next day, the Swiss curled around him almost protectively. She had clucked her tongue at him when he’d almost shot off the bed, rolling her eyes and proclaiming that they didn’t sleep together and that it would be like kissing her little brother to Robin’s relief. She’d been his ally ever since, even going as far as tugging him away when he got drunk at the end of season awards and almost announced to a then single Ant what he truly felt.    
  
“You okay?” Ant whispers softly against his skin. “You want to do this?”   
  
Robin realises that he’d been in his own thoughts for a moment and nods. “Yeah, yeah, I’m fine, I just-”   
  
“It’s okay,” Ant says softly, his lips capturing Robin’s. “I haven’t done this in a while either,”   
  
“Me either, last person was Daniel,” Robin says, his voice suddenly small.    
  
“Daniel?” Ant asks with confusion.    
  
“Abt,” Robin replies, his cheeks flaring pink.    
  
Ant doesn’t say anything for a second and Robin’s afraid he’s blown it. It was a throwaway fuck of sorts - Daniel is a fun guy, always up for anything and he hadn’t shied away when their lips had connected, their tongues still slick with alcohol. They’d fucked that night between fumbled kisses, Robin’s tongue had traced that ridiculous racing flag tattoo on Daniel’s hipbone. Daniel had pried things out of him that he thought he’d forgotten about -    
  
Ant’s teeth scrape over his neck again, his eyes suddenly dark in the dim light. “A-Ant,” Robin mutter out, knowing that the pale skin underneath will almost certainly bruise.    
  
“Can’t believe you fucked him,” Ant whispers against his skin. “Do you like him, Robin?”   
  
“Ant, please,” Robin murmurs back and there’s such desperation in his voice. Ant can’t say no to him, not when he’s got his teammate against his body, his hair mussed and his eyes heavy blown with desire. His tongue ghosts over the mark he knows he’s about to leave. His eyes are still locked with Robin’s. “A-Ant, please, I-”   
  
“It’s okay,” Ant murmurs, his fingers still sliding over Robin’s hardened dick. “Make you forget all about that,”   
  
Robin makes a little noise as Ant’s finger swipes over the slit of his weeping cock, his head falling back against the cold concrete. Ant watches his teammate carefully, his fingers slowly moving towards the curve of Robin’s ass. They’re still covered in his thin pre-come and it’s easy enough to get a finger inside Robin. Ant smiles against Robin’s neck as the Dutchman’s eyes go wide at the intrusion as he pushes himself deeper onto Ant’s finger.    
  
“You like that?” Ant whispers breathlessly.    
  
“Fuck, fuck A-Ant,” Robin manages to murmur out, trying to press himself onto Ant’s finger. It’s been a while since anyone did this to him, and he forgot how good it felt. Ant thrusts it in and out, listening to the sounds that brush past Robin’s swollen lips. Ant quickly adds a second finger - Robin’s ass is tight but it’s easy enough, they’ve both wanted this for so long. Robin makes a small mewl, his body sinking against Ant’s as the Portuguese man opens him up. His ass is still pressed against the cool concrete of the wall but none of that matters to Robin right now, not when Ant has two fingers pressed up deep inside him.    
  
“You feel so good, so tight,” Ant whispers, his brown eyes dark with desire as he slowly stretches Robin out. His swollen cock rubs against Robin’s bare thigh, still contained within his thin jeans.    
  
“Fuck me, Ant,” Robin murmurs out breathlessly and Ant can’t say no to him, not when Robin’s blue eyes are capturing his gaze, his swollen lips curve around Ant’s name again - almost pleading - and it’s enough for Ant to hurriedly grab the lube he keeps in his pocket (just in case of emergencies he tells himself). There’s a snick of the bottle as Ant’s jeans crumple down to his ankles. Robin’s eyes flicker down to Ant’s cock, smeared with slick and pre-come, his pupils blown with desire. His gaze softens as Ant pulls out his fingers and Robin lets out a dull sigh, as though he misses the sensation of being filled.   
  
“You sure about this?” Ant whispers, holding the Dutchman’s gaze.   
  
“I’ve never been more sure,” Robin whispers, his eyes locked on Ant’s. Time seems to stop for a moment as Ant slowly lines himself up, glancing up one last time before he slowly presses his way inside Robin. The Dutchman seems to sink into his body, the moan pulls itself from his mouth. Ant can’t believe how good Robin feels - he’s warm and willing, his body folding against Ant’s like it belongs there. Robin gasps out at the feeling of being filled, Ant’s name and a garbled series of Dutch words fill the air as Ant slowly begins to thrust up and down, careful to keep Robin pressed up against the wall.    
  
“Good, you feel so good, can’t believe we didn’t do this earlier,” Ant whispers, his lips finding Robin’s jawline as he peppers tiny kisses onto the rough stubble.    
  
“Feels so good, wanted this for so long,” Robin manages to bite out. “Oh fuck-”    
  
“How long?” Ant asks between kisses, still slowly pressing in and out of Robin. He should remember Vegas but he doesn’t. He would have remembered the way Robin’s face contorts in pleasure as he’s filled, would have remembered the way he calls Ant’s name. “Tell me, Robin,” He thrusts upwards and Robin gasps out, his fingernails digging into Ant’s back. Ant bites down on his lip as Robin’s fingernails scrape down his back, the Dutchman’s cock still slick with come rubs up against Ant’s abdomen as he pushes himself inside Robin.    
  
“S-since, since, fuck - since I joined Formula E,” Robin admits, his cheeks flushed bright pink. “I wanted you to fuck me for so long,”  His lips meet Ant’s again, their tongues connecting together.    
  
“You feel so good, Robin,” Ant whispers. “You’re beautiful like this,”   
  
He continues a steady rhythm, marvelling at how Robin falls apart against him. He’s never seen the Dutchman like this - so open, so vulnerable, his pale skin flushed and sweaty, his swollen lips parted in pleasure. “Ant, please-” Robin murmurs out, almost in a begging tone, as Ant’s thrusts become faster, more hurried, heat flooding over his taut abdomen. He’s close - he knew it wouldn’t take long - not when they’re so desperate for one another. Robin’s head hits the concrete wall behind him as Ant feels him come against his stomach, warm salty come splashes over his muscles and it’s enough for him to thrust up one last time and come inside Robin with a hard groan. The pair of them stay pressed up against the wall, Ant’s hand still holding Robin up against the wall to stop him from falling. They kiss slowly, almost tenderly as their bodies melt against one another. Ant catches Robin’s gaze - blue eyes connecting with brown as Ant slowly pulls out of Robin, a dull groan pressing from Robin’s lips as though he misses the sensation.    
  
“That was incredible,” Robin admits, as he pulls his jeans back up over his shaking legs. Ant follows suit, his cock still aching with the warm of his orgasm, before he extends a hand out to Robin. The Dutchman takes it carefully, and Ant leads him inside to the bed. They collapse onto it, unable to stop their lips from meeting once more. They kiss desperately, still in the throes of their pleasure. Clothes are removed and Ant slides into the bed next to Robin, his arm slowly curving around the thin, freckled shoulders of his teammate. He leans in and gently kisses Robin, marvelling at the gasps he can pull from his lips.    
  
“You don’t regret it?” Robin asks quietly in the darkness, his voice almost tentative.    
  
“Of course not,” Ant whispers back, pulling Robin in for one last, long kiss before the two men settle into the pillows, Ant pulling Robin closer to him as their legs tangle together. It’s very familiar - memories of Vegas float up into Ant’s head as he hears Robin’s breathing even out, his body sinking into pliancy against the taller man, before all thoughts are extinguished and he drifts into a dreamless sleep.    
  


* * *

  
  
Ant wakes up in the morning, his mouth dry and his stomach covered in dried semen. He wrinkles his nose a little, his eyes adjusting to the dim light filtering through the curtains. Robin is still curled up at the side of him, his hair is mussed and he’s still snoring softly into his pillow. Ant marvels at how peaceful Robin looks - how his dark eyelashes flicker ever so gently, at the curve of stubble brushing his jawline, at his plush lips slightly parted with shallow breaths. He’s beautiful and Ant can’t take his eyes off him. He leans in and gently presses kisses against Robin’s jawline, marvelling at how rough his skin feels against his own.    
  
Robin’s nose wrinkles at the sensation and his eyes slowly begin to open, his weary blue eyes, still heavy with sleep lock on Ant lying at the side of him.    
  
“Morning,” Ant murmurs, grinning widely at the Dutchman.    
  
“Morning,” Robin’s voice is heavy with sleep but he returns the smile, rolling over as he curls into Ant’s chest. “Still tired,”   
  
“You’re always tired,” Ant says, his voice slightly teasing.    
  
“Mmmm,” Robin says, his hair tickling Ant’s chest. Ant smiles, his hand moving to slowly card through Robin’s hair. Robin makes a small noise, the smile still curling on his lips.    
  
“Do you regret it?” Ant asks quietly, his hands still in Robin’s hair.    
  
“No,” Robin says. “Not at all. Do you?” His voice holds a tone of tentativeness.    
  
“No, I wanted it,” Ant answers honestly, his fingers rubbing gently over Robin’s scalp. “I was just scared that you’d wake up in the morning and have regretted it-”   
  
  
“No, no,” Robin murmurs, his voice still heavy with sleep. “I wanted that for far too long. Thought about doing that with you,”   
  
“You know...we could do it again,” Ant suggests, the smile curving back on his face. “I mean, if you wanted to-”   
  
“Yeah?” Robin says, sharing a sleepy smile.    
  
“Yeah,” Ant replies.    
  
There’s a comfortable silence between the two men for a moment before it’s broken by Robin’s voice. “I’m sorry,”   
  
“For what?”   
  
“For being a bastard to you recently. I just...this marriage thing just threw me, what with everything I felt for you. I just...want to start over, can we do that?”   
  
“Yeah,” Ant says softly. “We don’t have to put a label on this, okay?”   
  
“Okay,” Robin agrees, letting out a warm sigh. “Mmmmm, you feel good,” He murmurs, his hands slowly brushing over Ant’s muscles. “So good,”   
  
Ant chuckles lightly, but the sensation of Robin’s hand brushing over his warm skin makes his cock come to life. “Glad you enjoy it,”   
  
“Fancied you for so long,” Robin admits, his voice still sleepy. “Thought you had an incredible body,”   
  
“You’re not too bad yourself,” Ant says, as his hand slowly moves down through Robin’s hair to cup at his face. He leans in and slowly brushes his lips against the Dutchman’s. They kiss lazily, the only sound is that of their lips hitting each other, light moans pushing from Robin’s lips as he presses his body closer to Ant’s. Ant smiles into the kiss, his other hand moving to gently cup Robin’s ass.    
  
“Can’t keep your hands off me,” Robin whispers into the kiss and Ant laughs against his lips.    
  
“You’re pretty irresistible,” Ant murmurs, his tongue slowly ghosting over the crease of Robin’s lips. It’s slow and steady - but Ant can feel his cock swelling at the sheer thought of being near Robin again. Robin’s tongue presses against his own, mapping every curve of his mouth and Ant feels like every fibre of his body is on fire. Robin’s hands continue to brush over the taut muscles of Ant’s chest and Ant flinches as his fingertips run over the dried come still clinging to his skin.    
  
“What’s wrong?” Robin asks as Ant gently pulls away from the kiss.    
  
“Do you want to shower?” Ant asks playfully, his brown eyes gleam as he slowly slides out of the bed, not caring that his cock is on full view, thick and heavy with blood. Robin thinks about it for a moment, looking like he wants to stay in the warmth of the bed, but Ant leans in, brown eyes locking on blue as he whispers, “C’mon Robin,”   
  
They collide with each other in the shower, the warm water cascading over their naked bodies as their lips move against each other. “Oh god, Ant,” Robin murmurs out, Ant watching the Dutchman’s hair plastered against his face, his hands roaming over Ant’s body and exploring every curve. Their tongues press against each other in desperation, a desire to possess - before Ant’s lips move down to kiss over the marks he left on Robin’s neck earlier. Robin gasps at the sensation of Ant’s tongue tracing over his skin, catching the tiny water droplets that collect there.    
  
“You’re beautiful,” Ant whispers, pulling away to gaze into the Dutchman’s eyes. “I can’t keep my hands off you,”   
  
“Can’t keep something else off me either,” Robin teases, glancing down to where Ant’s swollen, hard cock is pressing against his thigh. “I’ll take care of that for you,”   
  
Before Ant can protest, Robin drops down to his knees, his hands winding around Ant’s cock. Ant groans as Robin’s calloused fingers probe the sensitive skin, a groan which soon turns into a murmur of Robin’s name as warmth envelopes his aching cock. Ant tries to focus on one thing - but he can’t, not when Robin’s tongue is slowly stroking over the shaft of his swollen cock. His hands fist into Robin’s wet brown hair as Robin’s mouth slowly teases things out of him he didn’t know he possessed. Robin’s tongue dips into his slit and Ant feels his eyes roll up into his head. His fingertips scrape over Robin’s scalp harder, and harder, tugging on the thick wet strands.    
  
“Oh god, oh god Robin, that feels so good,”    
  
Robin hums in agreement, the vibration sending shockwaves through Ant’s abdomen as Robin’s fingers slowly tease over the crease of Ant’s inner thighs. Heat envelopes Ant’s body, his head hitting the wet shower wall. There’s no way Robin hasn’t done this before - he sucks dick like a pro, Ant thinks, he knows exactly where Ant’s soft spots are. But the thoughts are soon pulled from his mind as he feels Robin’s tongue slowly dance over his balls. “O-oh god,” He murmurs out. “Oh Robin,” He whispers like a mantra, enjoying the sensation of Robin’s warm enveloping his balls. Robin seems to play with them, to trace over every inch committing it to memory before he turns his attention back to Ant’s swollen shaft. His tongue dances up and down the swollen member and Ant can feel the warmth building up in his abdomen. Ant’s fingers tighten on Robin’s hair.    
  
“Robin, I’m going to-” He doesn’t get to finish his sentence as he comes into Robin’s mouth. Robin swallows it, his tongue darting out to catch the few stray pearlescent drops of come still clinging to Ant’s shaft.    
  
“You’re incredible,” Any murmurs, slumping against the wall of the shower.    
  
“I know,” Robin replies with a wide smile, a drop of come sticking to the corner of his lip.    
  
Ant could get used to this, he thinks, staring down at Robin on his knees, dark hair wet and flat against his forehead, lips swollen and bruises from Ant’s lips decorating his pale freckled skin. 


	5. part five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robin and Ant continue to play with fire, but one of their friends gets caught in the crossfire.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a while on this - and I wrote this like a month ago, but writing is hard for me at the moment so I thought posting another part of this might kick my ass. This story is now officially all planned out though! This scene was kind of written through inspiration by one of my good friends, Chesca. You should check out her work at @damsindistress on ao3. Warning for well, sex, these two can't get enough of each other. Enjoy :)

It goes all like that between the two of them - something which they aren’t sure how to define - for weeks. Robin ends up going to Portugal and falling into Ant’s bed over and over again. He tries not to think about the implications of their actions as Ant slides inside him and peppers his jawline with kisses. Day fall away in place of memories of rumpled sheets, names slipping from lips and teeth scraping against skin.   
  
“We need to talk about this,” Ant says finally. They’ve just had sex -  _ again _ \- and they’re curled up in the soiled sheets. Robin glances over at him with half lidded eyes. His hair is a tousled mess, curling at the ends from the humidity, from the exertion.   
  
“About what?” Robin asks, quietly.    
  
“About this, this thing between us,” Ant says, gesturing between them. “Like I’ve stayed quiet for a few weeks because I was in the moment, but we need to talk about  _ this _ ,”   
  
“I don’t know what it is,” Robin says, worrying his lip as he fiddles with part of the sheet. “Like maybe fuck buddies? Friends with benefits? Is that how you say it?”    
  
Ant bites his tongue and ignores the sinking feeling in his chest. “Oh,”   
  
“Well, we just got a divorce practically. And I just don’t want to feel like that was a mistake,” Robin admits, his eyes still on the duvet.    
  
Ant’s heart beats like a jackhammer. He’d forgotten about that in the last few weeks meeting up with Robin for casual hook-ups. He’s not sure if he pushed it to the back of his mind on purpose. He thinks about the papers, still sitting in his rucksack, they’re still unfinished. He’s still not made it past Robin’s name. He should tell him. He should be honest with Robin.    
  
“Robin, I have something to tell you-” He begins, voice a little shaky.    
  
Robin raises an eyebrow and Ant takes a deep breath. “Robin, I-”   
  
However, just as Ant is about to reveal everything, there’s a loud banging on the door. Robin jolts at the noise, his eyes moving towards the window.    
  
“Wha?” He begins.    
  
“Ant? Ant? Let me in,” Dani Juncadella’s voice bellows out from behind the front door.    
  
Ant sighs heavily. “Wait here,” He says to Robin as he pulls himself out of the duvet and grabs his robe from the back of the door. As he’s walking down the stairs, the bangs on the door intensify.    
  
“I know you’re in there, Da Costa!”    
  
Ant sighs heavily and unlocks the door. A panicked Dani stands before him, looking slightly out of breath. His new shiny Mercedes is parked on the drive next to Robin’s Audi RS6. Before Ant can ask him what he wants, Dani barges past him and settles himself down on one of Ant’s couches.    
  
“Can I ask what you’re doing here at-” Ant checks his watch. “Ten in the evening?”   
  
“I know, I know,” Dani says, rubbing a hand over his face. “I was in Seville and I needed someone to talk to-”   
  
“You could have picked up the phone and called me? What’s the problem?” Ant ask, pulling the robe tighter around himself. He wonders if Robin’s already gone back to sleep.    
  
“I think...I think I have a crush on Felix. Like...I think I like him more than a friend,” Dani blurts out, his cheeks turning red.    
  
“And you drove for four hours to tell me this?” Ant asks, pinching his temples.    
  
“I know how it sounds. I don’t know. I just...I’ve been thinking about him as more than a friend and like, I haven’t had sex in months and-”   
  
“Have you talked to Felix about this?” Ant asks, his voice calm and controlled. Dani is jittery and tugging on his hair - he’s nervous and it shows.    
  
“No! I mean, how could I - he’s probably straight and he’d hate me for even saying that,”   
  
“Felix isn’t straight,” Ant says calmly.    
  
Dani’s eyes go wide. “What?”   
  
“He had a thing with Roberto a few years ago-” Ant says, watching Dani’s mouth drop open.    
  
“And you never told me this?” Dani says, gesticulating wildly.    
  
“I wasn’t supposed to know… I think it was a friends with benefits thing,” He cringes at the words, the words that Robin just used. He remembers how things ended between Felix and Roberto - they had ended things mutually, but Ant always got the feeling that Felix was fonder of Roberto than he was. Felix had been hurt, damaged in a way by Roberto.    
  
Dani seems relieved at Ant’s answer. He leans back into the couch, his eyes flickering over Ant. They seem to pause on his neck for a fraction longer.    
  
“What?” Ant asks, confused.    
  
“Have you got someone here?” Dani asks, raising an eyebrow.    
  
“No,” Ant says a little too quickly.    
  
“You’ve got a lovebite on your neck,” Dani says, a wide grin on his face. “Is she upstairs?”   
  
Ant feels the blush brush over his cheeks, the words catching in his throat.    
  
“What’s going on?” Robin’s sleepy voice cuts in. He stands in the doorway of the lounge, rubbing his eyes. He’s wearing one of Ant’s shirts and his own boxer shorts. However, Ant watches Dani take in the sight of Robin - of tousled hair, clearly not from sleep, of the dark bruises made by lips on Robin’s neck and he sees the wheels click into place.    
  
Dani’s mouth drops open as he glances at the pair of them. “I don’t fucking believe this-”  
  


* * *

  
Robin ends up on the couch next to Ant, after he makes them tea - their thighs are pressed against each other. Ant can feel the warmth radiating from the Dutchman. He wants to reach out and grab Robin’s hand, but he decides against it. He doesn’t want Dani to freak out anymore than he already has.   
  
“I can explain-” Ant begins.    
  
Dani shakes his hand as though to brush away any excuse. “No need to explain. How long you two been shacking up for?”   
  
“A few weeks. We hooked up in Paris when we were doing simulator work,” Robin is strangely calm as he speaks. “It’s just a hook up thing,”   
  
Dani looks perplexed. “A hook up? But you guys were married-”   
  
“And we’re not anymore,” Robin says a little too quickly.    
  
Ant feels his chest drop at those words, at how quickly Robin dismissed them. Dani too looks uncomfortable, worrying his lips slightly.    
  
“So you and Felix?” Robin asks, sipping on his tea.    
  
“It’s complicated,” Dani says, glancing down at his cup. “I just...I think I have feelings for him but I’m not sure,”   
  
“You should talk to him about it,” Robin reasons in a calm voice. “You never know how he feels otherwise,”   
  
Ant wishes that he could take Robin’s advice and tell the Dutchman what he was really feeling. But at the same time, he didn’t want to ruin things between them.    
  


* * *

  
Robin climbs under the duvet as Ant gently closes the door, having just finished making up the guest room for Dani. Ant pads across the carpet, falling into bed next to Robin. Robin curls into him, his hand slowly stroking over Ant’s hairy chest.    
  
“Are you okay?” Ant asks. Robin is quiet, quieter than usual.    
  
“I’m just tired,” Robin says, rubbing his hand over his face. Ant gives him an enquiring glance.   
  
“Robin, if you’re worried about Dani knowing-”   
  
“I just… we just got divorced and now we’re sleeping together and I just-”   
  
“It’s okay,” Ant says, softly. His hand moves to gently cup Robin’s face. His thumb rubs over the rough stubble on Robin’s jawline. “It’s okay,”   
  
Robin says nothing. He glances at Ant with half lidded eyes, a small smile on his lips. He leans in closer, his breath ghosting over Ant’s cheek. Ant feels himself exhale, his heart slamming against his ribcage as Robin closes the gap and his lips fall against Ant’s. It’s like every other time they’ve done this - Ant’s other hand moves up to fist into Robin’s hair as he deepens the kiss. Robin tastes of toothpaste, of the tea that he had drunk a few hours before. Robin groans at the contact, his body folding against Ant’s. Ant can feel his cock swelling at Robin’s touch, at the sounds brushing from Robin’s lips.    
  
Robin rips his lips away. “Ik wil je, nu,” He murmurs, unable to stop the Dutch falling from his lips.    
  
“What?” Ant asks, panting slightly through swollen lips.    
  
“I - I want you now,” Robin tries again in English. “I want this,”   
  
“But Dani’s in the next room,” Ant says softly, his eyes locked on Robin’s.    
  
Robin’s eyes are strangely dark. “Fuck Dani, I can’t help myself-”   
  
“I’d rather not fuck Dani, he’s not my type-” Ant begins, only to be silenced by Robin’s lips once more. He groans as Robin’s tongue slides past the crease of his lips, slowly exploring every corner of his mouth. He kisses the Dutchman back with equal fervour, one of his hands moving underneath the duvet to cup at Robin’s ass. Robin smiles into the kiss.    
  
“Always got your hands on my ass,” He whispers against Ant’s lips.    
  
“Get my cock into it in a minute,” Ant murmurs back with a grin. Robin smirks as Ant pulls his lips away and moves upwards, pressing Robin into the sheets. “You look so beautiful like this,” He says, taking in the sight of Robin underneath him. His hair is mussed, his eyes are dark with desire and his lips are shining with saliva.    
  
“Fuck me,” Robin says, his blue eyes fixed on Ant’s brown. “Please, Ant, I need you-”   
  
Ant grins. “Tell me what you want,”   
  
“You know what I fucking want,” Robin says, biting his lip. Ant loves Robin like this - when he’s demanding, when he knows exactly what he wants. Ant leans over and opens up the top drawer of his cabinet - he pulls out the tube of lube that he knows is half empty - they’ve been busy - and a condom. Robin’s eyes fix on them before they snap back to Ant. Ant smiles gently as he uncaps the lube, covering his fingers in the sticky substance. He leans down once more and captures Robin’s lips on his own. Robin’s lips open underneath his - soft, warm, open - Ant feels Robin’s legs part underneath him, his dick swollen against his thin boxer shorts. He deepens the kiss, feeling Robin fall apart underneath him as he guides his hand down underneath the duvet.    
  
“Don’t give me just one-” Robin begins, only to gasp as Ant slides not one - but two fingers into him. Ant smiles against his lips, his other hand moving to ghost over every inch of pale freckled skin.    
  
“You’re so beautiful, so tight, so warm,” Ant murmurs, pulling his lips away as he focuses on slowly stretching Robin out. “Want you like this all the time,”   
  
“Ant-” Robin whimpers. “Ant, please, I need meer, meer -”   
  
“What?” Ant whispers, his fingers stilling for a moment.    
  
“Fuck, more,  _ more _ ,” Robin says. His teeth catch between his lips as he squirms underneath Ant. “I need more,”   
  
Ant continues to tease. His fingers slowly open Robin up - moving tantalisingly close to his prostate, making Robin cry out, his legs quivering. “What do you want?”   
  
“Fuck, Ant, give it to me-” Robin cries out, his voice slightly shaky. He lets out another groan as Ant’s finger brushes over the sensitive spot finally. “Oh god-”   
  
“Does that feel good?” Ant inquires, loving the way Robin is falling apart, loving the way the Dutchman is underneath him crying out for what he wants.    
  
“Ant, please, I need it now-” Robin manages to blurt out and Ant smiles. Robin is always so impatient. He withdraws his fingers, marvelling at the small moan that pulls from Robin’s lips at the loss. Robin watches him carefully as he slips on the condom, slicking his swollen cock with lube.    
  
“You sure?” Ant asks, his eyes locked on Robin’s.    
  
“Please,” Robin whispers, licking his lips.    
  
Ant can’t say no. He lines himself up, his chest resting against Robin’s as his lips find Robin’s neck. He peppers the stubbled skin with light feathered kisses, his hand resting on Robin’s jaw. His teeth scrape against the freckled skin as he slowly enters Robin. He feels the Dutchman tense, murmur out something in Dutch as his hands twist into the sheets.    
  


* * *

  
Ant slumps down next to an exhausted looking Robin, curling around the smaller Dutchman. Robin turns his bright blue eyes, half lidded, to fix on the Portuguese man. “That was incredible,” He whispers, his hand finding Ant’s under the sheets.    
  
“Yeah, it was,” Ant murmurs back, squeezing Robin’s hand. He takes in the sight of a debauched Robin curled up in the rumpled sheets - his hair is mussed and his pupils are blown. He looks beautiful. Robin whines a little under his breath, curling further into the sheets against Ant. His eyelids flutter as he fights against the urge for sleep.    
  
“Sleep,” Ant says fondly, smoothing down Robin’s mussed hair.    
  
“Mmm,” Robin agrees, his eyes still threatening to close. “Waarom zijn we ook al alweer gescheiden?”     
  
“I don’t know what you mean,” Ant replies slowly. Robin has a tendency to slip into Dutch when he’s tired and it’s endearing to Ant. “Go to sleep,  xodó,”   
  
Robin doesn’t say anything else. His eyes slowly close and his body becomes lax as he falls into a deep sleep, still half-curled around Ant. Ant slowly continues carding his hand through Robin’s soft curls, admiring the light splatter of freckles across the Dutchman’s pale cheeks and nose. Robin looks peaceful when he sleeps, with his dark eyelashes hiding the blue eyes Ant loves to look into, his pale pink lips slightly parted.    
  
“Eu te amo,” Ant finds the words slipping from his lips before he can stop them. But Robin remains asleep. Ant slowly leans in, pressing a soft kiss to the sleeping man’s temple before his eyes grow heavy and sleep claims him.   
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> waarom zijn we ook al alweer gescheiden- why did we divorce in Dutch  
> Xodó - My boo in Portuguese  
> Eu te amo - I love you in Portuguese


	6. part six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dani discovers Ant's secret. Robin and Ant get closer on the way to Mexico.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bit of a shorter chapter here, but I wanted to start working on my old fics again, so be prepared for more updates like this. The Mexico "this guy" messages really did happen, fucking in the bathroom? Well I'm not 100% sure about that. Thank you to the regular lads who all inspire me every day. Enjoy! :)

Ant wakes up the next morning with Robin curled up by his side. Their bodies are twisted together and Robin looks comfortable pressed against him, like he’s supposed to be there. He smiles down at the sleeping Dutchman, at the way his dark hair stands up on end, mussed by sleep and by Ant’s fingers. He watches Robin for a moment, enamoured by how peaceful he looks in sleep before the sound of a mug hitting the tiles in the kitchen floor snaps him out of his thoughts. A bark from either Taco or Glock cuts through the silence. Ant looks confused at the sudden sound before realising that there’s someone else in the house, that Dani had appeared last night. Ant reluctantly leaves the warmth of the bed, making Robin’s nose scrunch up a little, a light sigh brushing between his lips as Ant slides away from him. Ant smiles as Robin moves slightly, shifting into the space that Ant just vacated, his arms moving to pull one of the pillows closer. He shucks his boxers shorts back on and with one last glance over Robin, he exits the bedroom, closing the door behind him.    
  
Dani is stood in the kitchen, wearing nothing but his boxer shorts, cursing at the coffee machine.  A broken mug lays on the tiled floor in front of him and Taco and Glock are bouncing around him, soft barks brushing through the air.    
  
“Shhhh, be quiet,” Dani whispers, trying to placate the dogs.    
  
“What are you doing?” Ant asks, eyebrow raised.    
  
The sudden sound of his voice almost causes Dani to drop the other empty mug that is in his hands as he turns wide green-hazel eyes to his friend. “Fucking hell, you scared me,” He says, scratching at his beard. “I was just trying to make some coffee,”   
  
“Would help if you turned the machine on,” Ant says with a smile. “Did you break one of my mugs?”   
  
“I’m sorry, Taco jumped at me and I dropped it-” Dani says, his teeth caught between his lip.    
  
“It’s fine,” Ant says, waving a hand as though in dismissal. “Was one of the old ones my grandma got me anyways, I hated that set,”   
  
“Oh,” Dani says, smiling awkwardly. “So do you want some coffee?”   
  
“Sure. If you tell me what you’re going to do about Felix,” Ant smiles back, moving to grab a dishtowel and pick up the jagged pieces of porcelain on the floor before one of the dogs stands on it.    
  
“Only if you tell me why you’re fucking Robin,” Dani replies back, setting a mug into the machine.   
  
“Touche,” Ant says, taking a seat at the kitchen table.    


* * *

  
“So, things are complicated between Felix and I,” Dani says quietly, taking a sip of his coffee. “I guess you could say I always liked him,”   
  
“Complicated,” Ant says quietly, his thumb rubbing over the edge of his mug.    
  
“So you and Robin-” Dani’s hazel eyes flicker up to meet his friends. “I thought you two were getting a divorce, how the fuck did you end up in bed together again?”   
  
“Things are complicated,” Ant repeats quietly, his cheeks turning pink.    
  
“What is complicated about it? You’re divorced-” Dani pauses as he watches Ant chew on his lip. “You didn’t complete the papers did you?”   
  
“Dani-” Ant hisses, glancing towards the stairs. “I can explain-”   
  
“What is there to explain? What the fuck are you playing at, Ant?” Dani whispers, a frown settling on his features.    
  
“I just forgot-” Ant says, but his tone is as weak as his excuse. “I’ve been really busy,”   
  
“And you thought you’d hold off on a divorce - until Robin wants to marry  _ someone else _ and finds out he’s still married,”   
  
Ant ignores the stabbing pain in his chest at the thought of Robin being married to someone else.  “I doubt he’ll get married in the next few months-”   
  
“Did you even want this divorce, or was it Robin?”   
  
Ant worries his lip as his finger rubs over the rim of his mug. “Dani-”   
  
Dani sighs heavily. “It was him, wasn’t it?”   
  
“No!” Ant says a little too quickly. “We both agreed that it was the best decision,”   
  
Dani raises an eyebrow. “You both agreed to a divorce and then you fucked each other after, isn’t that the wrong order to do things in?” Ant is silent. “You didn’t want the divorce, did you?”   
  
“It doesn’t matter what I want,” Ant bites out. “He didn’t want it and I have to respect that,”   
  
“Did you tell him this?” Dani begins before he catches a glance of Ant’s face and waves his hand. “Of course you didn’t, you two are idiots,”   
  
“It’s complicated, okay?”   
  
“What’s complicated?” A voice pipes up from the doorway. Robin appears, wearing a thin cotton robe and not much else. Ant feels the blush deepen on his cheeks as Robin moves forward, his gaze flickering between the two men.    
  
“Nothing,” Ant murmurs out, his voice thick like treacle. “Dani just dropped by and-”   
  
“Wasn’t expecting to see you here, Frijns,” Dani says, sipping his coffee with a smirk on his face. “I was just asking Ant here for some relationship advice,”   
  
“What relationship? Who would want to have sex with you?” Robin ribs as he settles down into the chair opposite Dani.    
  
“You’re so funny, Frijns,” Dani says, eyeing Robin’s bare chest poking out of the cotton robe. “So this is-”   
  
“Just an arrangement,” Robin cuts in briskly. “It’s just casual,”   
  
“So soon after your divorce?” Dani asks nonchalantly, but Ant can feel his gaze. He busies himself with the toaster.    
  
“The marriage was a mistake, we both know that. But I guess - it was just something that happened...so what happened with you and Felix?”   
  
“Who said anything about Felix?” Dani asks with wide eyes.    
  
“Wasn’t a difficult leap,” Robin says, taking a sip of the coffee that had appeared by his elbow. “You drove all the way to Portugal, assumed it wasn’t for a social visit,”   
  
“I don’t know what to do,” Dani says, pushing his hands through his hair. “What should I do?”   
  
“Have you tried, I don’t know, talking to him?” Ant cuts in, pulling fresh toast from the toaster. “Felix will understand,”   
  
“I don’t know how to talk to him...how do you say...I want to fuck your brains out?”   
  
“I’d start with that,” Robin says, grinning as he drinks his coffee.    
  
“You two are useless,” Dani says, shaking his head.

 

* * *

  
Ant is sat in the airport again, sighing heavily as he glances down at the papers in his hands. The only field still filled in is that of Robin’s name. He can’t bring himself to write his own name and he hates himself for that. He doesn’t understand why he can’t do it, why he can’t bring himself to divorce Robin. His eyes gaze over the name, the pen still held in between his fingers. He should write his name. Sign the paperwork. It wouldn’t take long and then they’d be divorced, officially, properly -    
  
The sound of the other members of the Andretti team pierce through the fog of his thoughts and he slides the papers away, still unsigned and still weighing on his mind.  He hopes he can catch some sleep on the flight to Mexico. His eyes wander over to where Robin is laughing with one of the mechanics. He doubts he will sleep. The tannoy sounds and the flight is called, Robin catches his eyes as they both join the queue to board.   
  
They end up teasing each other as they take their seats, both sending stories to Instagram.    
  
_ Him again.  _ __  
__  
__ This guy.    
  
It’s just another dance, just another trick. Ant finds himself wishing that he and Robin were seated together as he settles into his seat ready for the ten hour flight. The seat next to him ends up remaining unoccupied. He tries to occupy himself with Netflix, with music pumping through his noise-cancelling headphones. He could get out the papers but he daren’t with Robin sitting a few seats away from him. He could read through the notes for Mexico again but he’s read them a thousand times. Sighing heavily, he rests his head against the window watching the plane drift through the clouds, darkness enveloping the sky. He lets sleep overtake him, his thoughts still on Robin.    
  
Ant is shaken awake what feels like ten minutes later. He scrunches his nose, prising his eyes open to find a pair of bright blue eyes staring at him.    
  
“Robin, what the-”   
  
Robin places a finger against his lips. “Not so loud,”   
  
“What are you doing here? Why aren’t you asleep?” He asks quietly, sleep still tinging his tone.    
  
“Couldn’t sleep. Couldn’t stop thinking about you,” Robin whispers, his eyes flickering with desire. “Couldn’t stop thinking about you fu-”   
  
“We couldn’t do it here,” Ant murmurs, eyes widening. “People would see,”   
  
“They’re all asleep,” Robin says quietly. “Nobody would see-”   
  
“Robin, I’m not fucking you right here,”   
  
“What about the bathroom then?” Robin asks, eyes flickering over to the door.  His hand brushes over Ant’s, slowly, stroking, methodically.    
  
Ant opens his mouth ready to chew Robin out for being so clich é, wanting to join the mile high club, but he feels the warmth stirring his lower abdomen. He worries his lip. “Okay, but we better make it quick,”   
  
“I’m sure we can,” Robin smirks, tugging him over to the bathroom.    
  


* * *

  
Ant barely remembers much of what happened in the bathroom - it was a tight squeeze even with both of them being as small as they are, cramped up against each other. Their lips connected together, his hands moving to cup Robin’s ass making the Dutchman whine against his mouth. Ant remembers smirking against Robin’s lips, kissing harder, his tongue moving to lick over Robin’s mouth.    
  
“Fuck me,” Robin had whispered, his voice slightly high. Ant remembers Robin’s shaking fingers wrenching open his belt buckle, the sound of his jeans crumpling over his thighs. He barely remembers anything of the prep, only the sounds that Robin muffled on his shoulder as his fingers opened up the Dutchman.   
  
“Oh god, Ant, fuck me already,” Robin can be needy when he wants to be. Ant remembers guiding his cock inside the older man, watching his mouth drop open, his fingers gripping onto Ant’s muscular shoulders. It was difficult given the space and the time constraints, but Ant remembers fucking Robin hard and fast against the wall of the bathroom, remembers watching his face relax as Ant grazes against his prostate, his leaking cock caught between their bodies. He doesn’t remember the orgasm, only the expression on Robin’s face as he too let go, his body going lax, his mouth opening around Ant’s name over and over.    
  
They stagger out of the bedroom, adjusting their clothing in the darkness of the cabin. However, as Ant’s returning to his seat, Robin follows.    
  
“Robin, your seat is over there,” Ant whispers quietly.    
  
“I know but I want to be with you,” Robin whispers back, his voice full of sleep. Ant isn’t sure if it’s because he’s sleepy, but there’s something about the words that makes his chest clench. He tangles their fingers together and drags Robin to the vacant seat next to his own. Robin immediately curls up in the seat, his head dropping onto Ant’s shoulder as sleep threatens to overcome him.    
  
“You shouldn’t sleep here,” Ant says softly, glancing down at Robin, watching his eyes slowly close and then open again as he fights against the sensation.    
  
“I want to be with you,” Robin says, almost too quiet to hear, his eyes stay closed.    
  
_ I want to be with you. _   
  
Ant chews on his lip as he processes Robin’s words, his head subconsciously leaning towards the Dutchman’s. Robin falls asleep quickly - Ant can tell by the slow, long breaths that brush against his neck. Robin looks so peaceful, so relaxed, like he’s supposed to be here. Ant thinks about the papers still in his bag, thinks about their hands still entwined, thinks about the man sleeping on his shoulder, the man he can’t stop thinking about.   


**Author's Note:**

> Dutch  
> Moeder - mother  
> Lieverd - darling  
> kneus - idiot


End file.
